


It's Getting Harder to Stay Awake and My Strength is Fading Fast

by ahunter8056



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Depression, Gen, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21562945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahunter8056/pseuds/ahunter8056
Summary: Sasha Banks, Becky Lynch, Charlotte Flair, and Bayley Martinez are all college students in their final year. When one member of their best friendship group isolates herself, it's up to the other three to drag her out of the dark depression that's taken hold. Can Charlotte, Becky and Bayley rescue Sasha in time?
Relationships: Bayley | Davina Rose/Becky Lynch | Rebecca Knox, Bayley | Davina Rose/Charlotte, Charlotte/Becky Lynch | Rebecca Knox, Sasha Banks/Bayley | Davina Rose, Sasha Banks/Bayley | Davina Rose/Charlotte/Becky Lynch | Rebecca Knox, Sasha Banks/Becky Lynch | Rebecca Knox, Sasha Banks/Charlotte
Comments: 97
Kudos: 50





	1. What's Wrong with Sasha Banks?

It was an ordinary Monday morning, just like any other. Golden sunlight filtered in through the thin gap in the curtains, the warm midday light illuminating the room. On one side of the room was a double bed, with a single stationary figure laid motionlessly atop it.

Sounds of birds tweeting, people dashing about their daily lives, and cars racing past could be heard from the outside world. Just as they had filled the air for several hours now. The digital clock on the bedside table read 11:32AM. Yet despite today being a day filled with regularly scheduled classes, the college student on the bed made no attempt to get up, her vivid purple hair sprawled across the pillows in the exact same formation it had been in for several hours.

* * *

The clock struck midday as the gaggle of students continued to file into the lecture theatre. Recognition flitted across one particular tall blonde’s features as she spotted the person she’d been scanning the seats for.

“She’s over there, come on Bay,” Charlotte signalled eagerly, pulling along the long-haired brunette to her right.

Retrieving her notepad and pen, the redhead glanced up to spot two of her best friends hurrying towards her.

“Glad ya could make it,” she called out in a thick Irish accent, “what held ya up this time?” Over the years she’d known Charlotte Flair, there had been far too many occasions where she’d caught her distracted on the way to class, usually by shiny objects with her name on them. She suspected this time was no different. “Too busy admiring yet another trophy ya won last week?” the mischievous redhead teased with a playful smirk.

“At least it would be a better story than being captivated by the smell of quinoa coming from the cafeteria,” the blonde shot back, crossing her arms in a self-satisfied pose as she settled into her seat.

“Nice try, but trying to change the subject won’t distract me from the fact that you didn’t deny it,” the Irishwoman retorted with a smug smile crossing her face, knowing that she’d outwitted her friend.

“Yeah Char, you shouldn’t have led with that,” Bayley interjected with a chuckle. Charlotte turned to look at her with a piercing glare, a glare well known among the other two as a look they never wanted to see. “What?” the brunette innocently protested with her hands up in mock surrender.

The women quietened down as they noticed the lecturer walk in and begin to start the lecture. Having her pen and notepad at the ready, preparing to listen attentively, Becky suddenly noticed a missing member of their weekly business management lecture and began to look around.

“Hey, where’s Sasha?” she whispered to Bayley and Charlotte. The other two women looked around them before exchanging dumbfounded looks, now realising that their remaining best friend was indeed nowhere in sight.

“I’m sure she’ll turn up soon.” Charlotte offered. There was no need to worry, it wouldn’t be the first time their friend had been slightly late for a lecture.

“Remember that time she tripped over the doorway because she was running too fast to make it in time?” Bayley guffawed as quietly as she could at the memory, to which the other two joined in as discreetly as they could.

The three continued to listen, learn and take notes throughout their lecture, confident that Sasha would enter the room sooner or later. To their confusion and mild worry, she never did.

* * *

Students quickly filtered out of the lecture theatre, a bustling maelstrom of activity. Whilst almost every student hurried along either to their next lecture or to go home, there were three who remained in the hallway, patiently waiting against the wall to avoid standing in the way, eager to have the space to themselves. Once the corridor emptied, they made no effort to move along like their fellow students. They had their own subsequent seminars to get to of course, but there was a more pressing issue at hand.

“It’s just not like her to miss a lecture,” Bayley said worriedly. “Especially one of Kurt Angle’s classes.”

“No, it’s not,” Becky agreed. “Maybe fer once she got too hungover to be capable of comin’ in?”

“No,” Charlotte answered, worry creasing her brow. It was a running joke between the four that Charlotte was the mom of the group, but the truth was not far off. “Even when she’s felt like absolute shit, she’s still made it in.” A slight smile crossed her lips as she recalled one such situation. “Even if that means wearing sunglasses indoors and bringing an extra strong coffee.” Her tiny crease of a smile turned back downwards as soon as the memory finished washing over her. “This is different, and I have a really bad feeling about this.”

“I’m sure we’re just overthinking it,” the brunette with an affinity for hugs suggested hopefully, trying her best to not let her internal worry take over her facial features – to little success. “I’m sure if she had a problem, she’d let us know.”

Honestly, Bayley didn’t know if she was trying to reassure the other two or herself. This was uncharted territory; in the previous three years, they’d never known their petite but enthusiastic friend to miss a class. She was probably the only student in the entire university with a flawless one hundred percent attendance record.

Since the day the four had met each other in their first year, they’d been inseparable. If one was seen attending a social event, you could be sure that the other three would also be present. They were there for each other’s darkest days and brightest moments. In fact, they’d bonded so much over the years that they’d made firm plans to use their degrees in Business Management to set up and run a successful business together after graduating. And Sasha’s dedication was a strong driving force in that. Her passion was infectious; nothing stopped her from doing everything she could to succeed. So why would that suddenly change without warning?

“I’ll just send her a text. Then we should really get going.”

Bayley composed and sent the concerned text, fingers frantically typing out a message in worry. The women hoped they’d receive an answer promptly. With no more time to waste, the three departed in the direction of their respective seminars.

* * *

Back at the friends’ shared house, the absentee friend in question was still in more or less the exact same position she had been in all morning. And so far, all afternoon as well. For hours her eyes had remained fixed on the ceiling, an unspoken staring contest that showed no signs of abating. While there was no obvious physical movement from her body, her mind continued to race along at a frantic pace, the same thoughts continuously going back and forth, with nothing she could do to stop it, try as she might. And by god, she had tried everything imaginable to distract herself from the dark thoughts clouding her mind.

There was no doubt about it: Sasha Banks was depressed.

She’d felt this way for weeks now. Small worries at first, slowly building. The anxiety and doubt had gnawed their way inside her to a crescendo, until they reached tidal wave proportions. Not wanting to allow the tide to sweep her friends down the waiting hole with her, Sasha had kept her internal problems to herself, making a concentrated effort to appear as though everything was okay on the surface.

That’s the thing about depression. Some people become so adept at hiding it, that nobody would assume that anything was wrong. It’s true what they say; the ones that appear most happy are sometimes the most sad.

A big deal is made out of people who openly expose their anguish, when they break down because they can’t do anything else. But what about those who can’t break down because they’ve lost the ability to feel anything? Sasha Banks used to be able to feel. Used to feel joy, excitement, happiness. Now? She couldn’t even feel anger anymore. There was just an empty shell where her heart used to be.

If she could still feel genuine emotion, she’d be crying her eyes out. She couldn’t even do that anymore.

All the times in recent weeks where she’d laughed at Becky’s puns, smiled warmly at Charlotte’s motherly tendencies, or goofed around with Bayley, it had all been for show. She’d become so used to these activities over the years, that she could fake it in a heartbeat. Her body was running on autopilot, going through the motions without her brain having to even contemplate it. But autopilot couldn’t last forever. Like a car running out of petrol, she’d come to a complete stop, unable to keep on driving forward.

The hole inside her heart had grown like a sinkhole, dragging her mental health down into the cavernous depths. The everyday things she used to take joy in no longer interested her. Even if she forced herself to do them in the foolish hope that it would magically restore everything back to normal, she gained no satisfaction from them. It was a deep, dark hole that try as she might, she had no idea how to fill.

Sasha had no plans for the day. She was just lying there, waiting for the day to come to an end, so she could move onto the next one. And for what? To do the same thing again and again and again? Trying to solve the puzzle of her discontent was like trying to complete a jigsaw with pieces missing. You can try all you like, but the missing pieces aren’t going to appear out of thin air. You need to find them.

Sasha was finally pulled out of the hole of despair her worries had dug her into by the buzz of her phone vibrating on her bedside table.

For a moment, Sasha felt relief. After hours of being stuck in her anxiety-ridden thoughts, she finally had a distraction to take away the pain for a brief moment. But then realisation dawned on her. It was probably either one of her friends questioning her whereabouts or a useless email from some online store’s mailing list that she couldn’t care less for at this particular moment. Neither option sounded appealing to her.

But what if it wasn’t either of those options? What if it was a life-changing message that could turn her life around? The purple haired student went back and forth for a minute, internally debating whether it was worth checking her phone or to just ignore it. Like it always did, curiosity eventually got the better of her. Rolling onto her side, she grabbed hold of her phone. As soon as she saw the sender of the text, her heart dropped.

_“Hey Sash, everything okay? Not like u to miss a lecture. Plz let us know if somethings wrong.”_

A groan escaped Sasha’s throat as she placed her phone back down onto the table without bothering to respond. Typical. This is why she hadn’t mentioned it to her friends, and as of today, was now keeping herself in isolation. Her friends had their own lives and respective worries; she didn’t want to burden them with her personal problems. This was something she had to figure out alone.

But as they always had been, they continued to prove to be the most considerate people she could have ever been fortunate enough to meet. Which is why the small part of her that could still feel, felt a wave of guilt wash over her about keeping her friends in the dark. Especially ignoring Bayley’s text, almost to the point of feeling as though she was drowning in it. But as hard as it was, it had to be done. No matter their good intentions, none of her friends could help her. Right now, Sasha Banks was the only person who could help Sasha Banks. Unfortunately for her, she was nowhere feeling up to the task.

* * *

“Nothing?!” Charlotte exclaimed in disbelief, eyebrows raised in worry, her stomach beginning to tie itself into anxious knots. She forced herself to take a deep breath to calm herself down.

Their college day had come to an end, and to say that the other two were dismayed upon Bayley’s answer to their unspoken question would be an understatement. They’d had no response from Sasha. No word from their missing friend. Collectively their minds began to race with the potential explanations.

“What if she’s fallen and hurt herself so bad she can’t get back up?!” Bayley’s eyes widened like saucers at the terrible thought, her breathing rapidly quickening in pace at her panic, almost to the point of hyperventilating.

“Don’t be so dramatic Bayles,” Becky chimed in, her calm expression showing no hint of worry. “Her ego would never let her body control her.” The redhead’s mouth was curved into a smirk at the playful jab, but her brown eyes betrayed a shining concern that the rest of her body language would never allow.

To anyone else, Becky’s apparently cavalier attitude would be rebuked with fiery scorn. But to her best friends, they saw through it for what it was. On the surface she appeared cheery and unbothered by the sudden turn of events. But on the inside, they knew full well that she was just as scared and worried sick as they were.

That was just how their dynamic worked. In a stressful situation, Charlotte would initially explode in outrage before taking a step back to think it through and rationalise it. When things looked particularly bad, Bayley would worry herself sick because she cared too much not to. Becky on the other hand would do everything she could to keep the situation light-hearted, cracking jokes to keep the others level-headed, grounding them when they risked their emotions propelling them out of reach.

“Whatever the reason is, speculating isn’t going to give us the answer,” the blonde reasoned. Some of the tension released from Bayley’s shoulders at the statement. As always, Charlotte tended to have the most reasonable arguments. Bayley closed her eyes for a brief second, trying to mentally reach out and grab the positive energy radiating from Charlotte to calm herself down.

Charlotte clapped her hands on both women’s shoulders, drawing them into a side huddle, pulling their heads either side of hers. She then spoke in a voice that radiated hope and optimism “Now, lets go find our girl.”

* * *

Silence greeted the three women as they entered their shared apartment. Cold, hard silence, hanging heavy in the air. Usually if the three of them were coming back to Sasha at the apartment they’d hear music, typically Kendrick Lamar, blasting from the hallway. Instead in its place was the deafening absence of sound. Their home didn’t feel much like home right now.

Becky opened her mouth to suggest checking their various hang-out spots around the city, when something caught Charlotte out of the corner of her eye. Raising her arm to stop Becky and Bayley in their tracks, she pointed towards Sasha’s favourite pair of sneakers sat neatly on the floor next to the door. Sasha would never leave the apartment without them, unless more appropriate footwear was required, all of which were still on the shoe rack. She had to be here. But the fact that she hadn’t immediately come out to greet them, or at the very least called out to them, was a disturbing thought.

As they moved towards Sasha’s bedroom door, Bayley continued to try to mentally swat away at the increasing number of bad scenarios running through her head at this moment. She couldn’t help but picture the endless nightmarish situations they could possibly be about to stumble upon. Bayley was usually an optimist, always looking on the bright side. But they’d never experienced a situation like this before; they were such a tight-knit group. There had been no occurrence of complete radio silence like this.

Beside her, Becky continually forced down the bile threatening to rise up her throat at the fear of what they may find. Yes, both her and Sasha were headstrong and incredibly stubborn at times, but they had the most similar personalities of the four in the group. They were like sisters. Sisters who continuously bickered for the fun of it, but held deep love for each other. Becky didn’t even want to begin to contemplate what she’d do if something had happened to Sasha.

Charlotte on the other hand, forced herself to keep calm and to keep breathing evenly. She tended to be the glue that held the group together in trying circumstances. Becky grounded them. Bayley gave them hope. But Charlotte kept them together. If she allowed herself to succumb to the fear threatening to envelop her, then Bayley and Becky would immediately follow suit. She couldn’t have that. Not on her watch.

The moment of truth had arrived, as the three crowded outside Sasha’s bedroom door. Now was the time to either be relieved or distressed. Of course it went without saying that they all desperately hoped it would be the former, but they had to know one way or the other.

The anxious blonde rapped her knuckles against the door, dreading the very real possibility of receiving no response in return. Ten very long, very tense seconds passed. The three were jittery, desperate to hear Sasha’s voice to reassure them that she was okay. To them, it may as well have been an eternity, the seconds stretching to seem impossibly long. The wait may have been short in reality, but it was agonising for them.

“Yeah?” the voice rasped, and they breathed a sigh of relief. That relief lasted a split second, before all three picked up on the fact that something was off, exchanging worried glances. Sasha’s voice was typically crammed full of emotion at its best, but still packed with enough recognisable emotion at its worst. Even when she was sick she still found a way to remain recognisably the Sasha Banks that they knew and loved.

But this single utterance sounded hollow. That one word was completely monotone - utterly devoid of any emotion.

They recognised the vocal cords producing it, but they didn’t recognise the tone of voice.

It didn’t matter what had taken hold over Sasha, their friend was underneath, and they had to get her out.

“Sasha, honey, you okay?” Charlotte tried again, hoping that verbal communication would prove more receptive.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” came the voice again, slightly more recognisable as their friend. But it was a fraud. Sasha had overcompensated, injecting too much emotion into her voice to keep up the pretence. Besides, if that wasn’t enough, her initial response was a dead giveaway that something was very wrong.

But they’d known Sasha long enough to know that forcing an issue was the quickest way to get her to shut them out. She always came around when she felt she was ready, never when pushed to do so. They’d have to be strategic about this.

It was with this in mind that Becky stepped closer to the door. “Ey Sash, I got a joke fer you. Guarantee you’ll love this one!” Charlotte and Bayley eyed each other suspiciously. “How did the hipster burn his tongue?” Becky waited a moment for the question to sink in. “He drank his coffee before it was cool!” Becky burst into her signature roaring laughter that erupted every time she told a joke she was proud of. “Did ya get it?” she asked between breaths of laughter. “Hipster? Before it was cool? Becky Lynch original!” Becky’s laughter began to gradually dissipate as they waited for some kind of response, some remnant of the Sasha they knew.

Silence.

A further five seconds passed before a quiet, emotionless voice came from behind the door. “Good one.”

Now it was Becky’s turn to look at both Charlotte and Bayley with eyes wide open in disbelief. Becky always shared dorky jokes and puns with her best friends. Every time, without fail, Sasha would either scoff or groan, rolling her eyes before mocking Becky’s joke habit. Never before had she pretended to actually like one. The red flags just kept on coming.

“Sasha, can we come in?” Charlotte tried, futile though she already knew it would be to ask entry. Despite Sasha obviously locking her door for a reason, it was still worth a try.

“No, I want to be alone,” came the weary response.

“Enough with this crap,” Becky muttered, quietly enough for Sasha to be unlikely to hear. Charlotte honestly didn’t know if Becky’s pride was hurt by her attempt not working out, or whether she was so emotionally affected by Sasha’s change that frustration had begun to boil over, fear manifesting into anger. “Charlotte, just use your Amazonian strength to break the freakin’ door down!”

“Right, are you going to pay for the damage?” Charlotte hissed. She was clearly unamused, whether Becky was being intentionally flippant or not. Becky opened her mouth to start a retort, when Bayley interrupted them before they could go any further.

“Hey Sash,” Bayley tried with as strong a voice as she could, though the telltale signs of her friend’s sorrow was killing her inside, “You’re still on to watch something on Netflix tonight, right?”

“No, I’m good” Sasha called out weakly, her words strained as though it physically hurt her to decline.

Bayley’s brows furrowed in thought, not ready to give up just yet. She relaxed slightly as an idea occurred to her. It wasn’t unheard for Sasha to decline an offer to watch TV, but there was usually one sure-fire way to persuade her. “You sure? You can choose what we watch!”

A couple of seconds passed, and Bayley’s previously dimmed optimism soared in force as she waited for Sasha’s answer with bated breath.

“I’m not in the mood.” Judging by her expressionless tone, she wasn’t in any mood whatsoever – good or bad.

Bayley stood there with her mouth hanging wide open, frozen on the spot as her mind raced in panic. Sasha _always_ jumped at the chance to pick what show or movie to watch. Even in times when Sasha declined the offer, until now it had been a tried and true method to offer Sasha the remote. The purple-haired dynamo relished to chance to take control and have her way. It hadn’t failed once before – until now.

The three women remained rooted in stunned disbelief, each one’s mind working individually to figure this puzzle out. They’d tried each of their usual tactics. Tactics that previously had a one hundred percent success rate. Yet not a single one had worked. They’d have to dig deeper if they wanted the slightest chance of getting to the root of this problem.

“Come on,” Charlotte whispered as she placed her hands on the backs of Becky and Bayley, leading them away in the direction of their living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is a very personal story to me, directly inspired by recent events in my own life (though obviously not a 100% accurate retelling). 
> 
> I'm quite proud of this work - both this chapter and the already written chapters to come. Chapter 2 will be coming this time next week, and Chapter 3 the week after. I'm hoping to be able to keep to the same schedule for Chapters 4 & 5.
> 
> If you enjoyed this, then please please leave comments and kudos! Kudos are great, and comments are even better! As much as this story means to me, I would be absolutely thrilled to find that others enjoyed it as well. I especially need feedback to know what I'm doing right, and if I'm doing anything wrong to improve upon. So whether your feedback is good, bad, or indifferent, please let me know.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you'll keep on reading! :)
> 
> \- HunTAH


	2. Fractured and I'm Falling Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bayley, Charlotte & Becky scheme to persuade Sasha to open up to them. Sasha finally reveals the cause of her depression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOWIE WOWIE! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone for the outstanding response to Chapter 1! Usually I count myself lucky to get 50 hits and 1 comment per chapter, but the response was more that quadruple that! It really meant a lot to me that people cared and engaged so much with the story.
> 
> But enough of me rambling, enjoy Chapter 2!

Bayley held her head in her hands from where she was sat on the couch, groaning in contemplation. Out of the corner of her eyes it was impossible to miss the forms of Charlotte and Becky pacing back and forth from opposite sides of the room. Both looked lost deep in thought, evidently considering the situation, possible scenarios and solutions. Becky repeatedly rubbed at her chin as she paced, resembling a caged animal eager to break free from the shackles of this impossible problem. Charlotte meanwhile resembled a deeply concerned parent, gaze fixed to the floor, mouth curled into a worried frown as her eyes sparkled with concern.

Becky was the first one to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen over them. “Is it possible that we could be worryin’ ourselves stupid over nothin’?” By this point the redhead had stopped pacing. “This isn’t the first time she’s locked herself in her room all day.” Becky’s expression looked hopeful. Almost too hopeful, like it wasn’t the other two she was trying to convince, but herself.

“You’re right, she has,” Charlotte agreed with the latter portion of Becky’s suggestion, though her gaze clearly communicated that she wasn’t in agreement with the former. “But she’s never given off so many red flags before.” She began to list off the red flags with her fingers. “Emotionless tone, rejecting the offer to pick what we watch, and complimenting you on your joke. That’s not normal behaviour.”

“Hey, it’s perfectly normal to recognise my jokes for the freakin’ hilarious masterpieces that they are!” Becky stuck her hands on her hips complete with a ridiculous pout. “Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to tell me how hilarious my brilliant puns are every once in a while.”

Bayley removed her head from her hands and looked up. “Actually, it would kill me inside if I had to lie.” Becky growled in response, pointing a stern finger in warning at the brunette, fixing her with a glare.

“She’s got a point Becks,” Charlotte piped up, narrowing her eyes as Becky wheeled around and fixed her glare on Charlotte. The blonde boulder, as Becky affectionately referred to her, lowered her head an inch and hardened her gaze, the two headstrong women locked in a stare down. A stare down of false intensity, the pair wishing for it to last as long as possible to momentarily forget the problem they had on their hands.

“This fake outrage is great and all,” Bayley interrupted in a tone dripping with sarcasm, Becky and Charlotte looking none too pleased as they broke the stalemate to turn to the woman on the couch. “But what are we going to do about Sasha?” Bayley’s gaze had a harshness to it, clearly angry that her friends were wasting time finding a solution while their best friend remained deeply troubled in solitude.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Charlotte frowned apologetically at Bayley before turning back to regard Becky, who’s expression had immediately melted the second the two looked away. “We know our girl, and she’s never acted so out of character before.” Charlotte paused to furrow her brow before continuing. “There’s the increasingly frightening, very real possibility that something is deeply wrong with her. We need to try. Try to do whatever we can to rescue her from whatever this problem is. We’re not just friends, we’re family. And family help each other no matter what.”

The weight of Charlotte’s words hung heavy in the air, the three remaining quiet as the seconds passed while the truth of what they felt duty-bound to do sank in. Charlotte was absolutely right. Between the four of them, Sasha was a core part of their little family unit. But that was how they saw each other: four crucial segments of a greater whole. And right now their family felt splintered, like a rotten branch threatening to snap from a tree. They needed to do whatever they possibly could to prevent that from happening, to remove the rot before Sasha was lost forever. Sure, ordinarily rotten wood was a lost cause. But just like Sasha’s newfound behaviour, this was uncharted territory.

“Now what can we do?” Charlotte began to pace again, her brows once again knitted deep in thought.

A minute passed as the women individually worked the problem through their heads, racking their brains to think up new ideas to try.

“Ooh, I know!” Bayley’s head shot up, eyes brimming with excitement with the idea emerging from her brain.

The three women spent the next twenty minutes brainstorming, collecting as many possible strategies and ideas to coax Sasha from her room. Confident that they had enough to appeal to the complicated, and obviously currently broken, woman who had sealed herself off from them, they set off to try once again.

* * *

“Hey Sasha,” Bayley cooed out in a sweet tone that she reserved only for the shorter girl, who was usually full of fire and passion. Bayley often joked about her temper being less chaotic if she had less desire. Yet now that passion seemed to have run out, like an extinct volcano. Bayley’s soothing tone usually caused Sasha to visibly melt upon hearing it, even when she looked like she was about to burst with anger. Now though? Nothing. Bayley may not have been able to see Sasha’s expression, but her silence spoke volumes.

Slightly disheartened by the lack of effect her normally potent tone had, Bayley continued on anyway. “We’re thinking of ordering pizza, do you want anything?”

Bayley’s breath noticeably hitched as she anxiously waited for a response, desperately hoping her plan would work out. Surely there was no way Sasha could turn down the offer. The woman may take pride in her toned, athletic body, but she could never resist pizza’s yummy allure. She even owned items of clothing with the image of pizza all over!

“I’m not hungry.”

Bayley’s face fell, having failed her friend once again.

Picking up on Bayley’s icy change in expression, Becky stepped up, not able to bear the thought of leaving the normally smiling hugger to wallow in misery.

“D’you want the notes from this morning’s lecture Sash?” Becky waited for a response that never came. After a few seconds, she decided to follow up. “If you want ‘em, you’ll have to come out and get ‘em.”

Becky stood resolute, firmly expecting some kind of familiar response. While all four of them were dedicated to their education, Sasha exceeded them all in passion. Typically she was so eager that on the exceptionally rare occasion that she had to miss a lecture, she’d do whatever it took to get notes from the others. As down as Sasha clearly was, she couldn’t possibly be so far removed from herself that she no longer cared. Right?

“I’m good, thanks.”

Wrong.

Were it not for the distressing situation, it would be almost comical to witness Becky’s jaw dropping wide open in disbelief. Her eyes blinked hard repeatedly, and her face visibly shuddered in confusion. This was not their Sasha. This wasn’t even close to Sasha at her worst. What the hell could have happened to transform her so?

And that’s when it hit Charlotte. They’d been taking the wrong approach entirely. Their paltry “solutions” had been comparable to attempting to use tape to fix a broken object. An object that was simply too heavy for tape to possibly be adequate. Even if it had worked, it would have only been temporary before breaking again. They didn’t need tape – they needed superglue to not only repair, but to strengthen the break. And as the mother figure of the group, Charlotte was the glue to bring them back together.

“Living room. Now.” Charlotte turned to look at Becky and Bayley in turn, her eyes glistening with tears threatening to fall, her voice hoarse, volume almost a whisper. “Please.”

Nodding in affirmation, Becky and Bayley scuttled off to the living room, leaving Charlotte alone outside Sasha’s locked bedroom door.

It wasn’t that Charlotte needed privacy to talk to Sasha. The four of them shared a bond that made them just as close as their immediate families, if not even more than. They knew they could always trust each other with their deepest secret and never judge.

But it was painfully obvious by now that they could no longer stand by and ignore the fact that this was a very delicate situation, like handling glass. One slip, and Sasha could shatter forever. This situation needed to be handled with the utmost care and consideration. As much as Bayley and Becky loved Sasha, and vice versa, they weren’t what Sasha needed right now.

As good as their intentions were, it was virtually impossible for Becky to go a conversation without joking around and trying to make it light-hearted. That could only be a detriment to whatever it was that Sasha was going through.

And if her behaviour so far was any indication, Bayley would just get uncontrollably emotional over the turmoil within her best friend, which would likely close Sasha off completely. They’d seen it in the past in lesser situations, with Sasha notoriously hating showing any emotional vulnerability, and being unable to bear seeing it in others. It had taken her a good long while in the first few months they knew each other to allow herself to be vulnerable in front of them. But now that she was possibly more vulnerable than ever? There was the very real possibility that if pressed she would shut herself down entirely.

Taking a deep breath, hoping beyond hope that her latest idea would work, Charlotte took a moment to mentally prepare herself. The wood beneath her feet creaked as she inched closer to the door.

“It’s just me and you now Sasha.” Charlotte spoke cautiously, her words coming slowly to give Sasha ample time to tell Charlotte to go away if she really wasn’t up to talking. She may be desperate to get through to her best friend, but consideration of Sasha’s feelings took precedence over that. “It’s okay honey, take as much time as you need. Come out when you feel okay to do so. Whether that’s tonight or next week, we’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready. No matter what, we will always be here for you.”

She paused before quietly clearing her throat to prevent herself from becoming choked up. “But if there’s anything you want to tell me, just me, without being judged, I’m listening. Becks and Bay don’t need to know.”

Charlotte held out a small glimmer of hope that this tactic would work. Whenever Sasha had something private she needed to tell someone without judgement, she always came to Charlotte for advice. Becky and Bayley were best friends she could goof around with, like sisters. But Charlotte was in essence her surrogate mother away from home. There was a level of confidential trust between them that didn’t exist in exactly the same way for Bayley and Becky.

The blonde waited patiently for a few seconds, her resolve crumbling ever so slightly with each second. Not that she’d purposefully show it on the surface; she normally kept her anxiety well-hidden. Thirty seconds, and no response. Charlotte turned to leave, tears that were a mixture of frustration and worry threatening to spill from her eyes.

But then the quiet sound of creaking stopped her dead in her tracks. The subtle squeaking of a bedframe from within the room, followed by footsteps padding across carpeted floor. Charlotte took a step back, unable to stop a wide smile spreading across her face at the thought that she had finally gotten through to Sasha and was about to have the opportunity to properly be there for her best friend. The footsteps reached the other side of the locked door.

But then nothing.

Charlotte could only think that Sasha was momentarily having second thoughts, yet clung to hope that her patience would be rewarded. A further twenty seconds passed, with no further sound of movement against the door. Eventually Charlotte’s expression fell with the realisation that the door remained firmly locked.

But then Charlotte heard the unmistakable sound of a weight thudding into the other side of the door, before sliding down. From the sounds of it, Sasha had slumped down to sit against the door on the other side. That meant hope. Perhaps Sasha was feeling receptive after all. The opportunity to talk, separated by a door, was far better than the outcome Charlotte had been dreading: the prospect of Sasha refusing to talk at all. While of course Charlotte would much prefer to talk to her friend face-to-face, she simply had to respect her best friend’s wishes to remain isolated.

Listening intently through the door, Charlotte heard the subtle sounds of Sasha’s mouth opening and closely, as though she was struggling to find the words, yet trying her best regardless. But Charlotte was patient. It was difficult for Sasha to communicate her feelings at the best of times – personal experience had taught her that. She’d give the troubled woman all the time in the world.

“I…” Sasha croaked, before the unmistakable noise of closing her mouth once again. “I…”

“Keep going Sasha,” Charlotte said in a voice low enough to ensure the other two couldn’t overhear. “Tell me what the problem is.”

“…I feel so lost Char,” finally came the weighted response. For the first time since this mess began, Charlotte heard emotion in the girl’s tone. Not just any emotion. Raw, unadulterated emotion. Whispered in a defeated and devastated tone.

Charlotte swallowed the lump in her throat back down before offering support. “Keep going babygirl, you’re doing great.” She paused. “The sooner you can tell me exactly what’s wrong, the sooner we can help fix it and get you back.”

“I’m not so sure you _can_ get me back,” came the honest answer. Charlotte ran the words back and forth throughout her head, trying to detect any possible hint in insincerity. But there was none. Sasha wholeheartedly believed every word she spoke. Tears began to roll silently down Charlotte’s cheeks. She tried desperately to blink them away, but they kept on coming. Her heart was simply not prepared for such conviction of Sasha’s helplessness.

“I don’t feel joy in anything anymore,” Sasha continued, her voice strained, a big statement for how tough this was for her to admit. “I just feel empty…like I’ve got no purpose in life, like I’ve got nothing left to give. I pride myself on my work so much," Sasha's voice began to break and she took a moment before continuing, harsh sniffles in place of silence. "But I feel like there’s no place in this world for me.”

If it was hard for Sasha to speak aloud, it was infinitely harder for Charlotte to hear those words. Despite her stoic exterior, inside her heart felt like it was shattering into billions of tiny pieces. But the worst thing wasn’t knowing how much Sasha was truly struggling. It was the knowledge that her best friends in the whole world, the people that mattered most to her, had failed her. How could they have missed the signs? People don’t break apart in one day. Clearly this had been building within Sasha for some time. In their ignorance, they hadn’t the faintest clue, until it was too late.

“I’m not interested in setting up a business after graduating anymore. Even if I do manage to graduate at all. I honestly don’t know if I can do this anymore.” Sasha’s voice began to audibly crack even more than it already had towards the end, cutting her off from anything more she might have said. As somebody who always such an unwavering pride in her work and her own ability, it was a sobering experience to hear Sasha question herself. It was common for Sasha to write post-it notes for herself while studying, with her most frequent quote being ‘I was born to do this’. Now Sasha wasn’t so sure of that. Charlotte couldn’t even begin to find the words within her brain to adequately describe just how heartbroken she was at Sasha questioning her own worth.

“But you know what the worst part is?” Sasha questioned rhetorically. Charlotte patiently waited as she heard Sasha gulp quietly before continuing, as though it was something even harder to admit than anything before. “Once we graduate, we won’t be together anymore.”

The words hit Charlotte like a ton of bricks. Had she actually heard correctly? How could Sasha have possibly come to that conclusion? If she was being honest, the words stung more ferociously than anything she’d heard before. For Sasha to have such a lack of faith in those closest to her…how had it come to this? She’d keep her mouth shut and continue to hear Sasha out for the moment of course, but this was her number one priority to rectify.

“This is our last year together before we go our separate ways in life, and I just can’t bear the thought of not having you guys around.” Sasha’s breath hitched, sounding as though she was building to her conclusion. “Everything just seems so bleak, so hopeless. I’ve dedicated the last three years to this, and for what? Tell me Charlotte, what’s the point of this? Why should I keep going when there’s no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel?”

The sound of involuntary sniffling came from behind the door, Sasha evidently breaking down after bearing her soul. All Charlotte wanted to do right now was embrace Sasha and hold her tight, to reassure her that it was okay. Never before had Charlotte been so gripped by second-hand hurt. It was as if someone had taken a mallet, and was now hammering down onto the tiny fragments of her shattered heart, reducing the pieces to infinitesimal proportions. And with a broken heart came the opening of the floodgates. At this point Charlotte wasn’t even trying to stop the river of tears spilling down her cheeks. She didn’t care about trying to hide the effect of Sasha’s revelations. In fact, trying to mask their effect would be an insult to what the damaged woman was going through, even if she couldn’t see it.

She did however stifle the sobs threatening to break free from her throat. Not to seem unaffected, but so she could still be the pillar of strength for her friend to lean on that she so desperately needed right now. As difficult as it was, she simply had to fight to stay strong for Sasha. Tears were fine. They couldn’t be stopped, nor seen behind a closed door. But crying would not only be heard by Sasha, but felt. And it was clear that Sasha was already feeling far too much as it was, without Charlotte piling her own feelings on top.

Charlotte waited a minute not only so that she could gather herself, but so Sasha had her chance to get it all out. She meant it when she said she would give her all the time she needed. And motherly intuition told her that Sasha would need to take a minute to get it out of her system before she could listen to reason.

“You’re wrong, you know,” Charlotte started, hoping to grab Sasha’s full attention by appealing to the stubbornly prideful, sometimes to the point of arrogance, aspect of her personality. The purple-haired dynamo hated to be told she was wrong.

“How could you possibly think that we’d go our separate ways after college? Is that what you honestly believe?” Charlotte paused between each rhetorical question, leaving enough time for the words to sink in, but not long enough for Sasha to retort.

“Sasha Mercedes Banks,” Charlotte allowed a small grin to cross her lips. Sasha didn’t usually appreciate the use of her full name, and Charlotte knew to keep it in reserve when she needed to get through to her and make her listen. There had never been a more appropriate time than now. “No matter what, we will _always_ be there for you. We’re not just your friends; we’re your family.” Charlotte took a moment to blink away the tears and clear the increasing hoarseness of her throat. “And family stick together.”

The more Charlotte continued to reaffirm to Sasha that some of her worries were unfounded, the more she felt her throat tighten up, as though it was threatening to close. But that did not matter. Nothing could stop her from saying what needed to be said.

“Look, I can’t promise we’ll live together for the rest of our lives, but I _can_ promise that we will _always_ be a part of each other’s lives. You’ve touched our lives in ways we never thought possible, do you really think we could ever let you go?” More tears streamed down Charlotte’s face, and more sniffling could be heard from Sasha. Charlotte could only hope it was the result of the realisation of how much she meant to the others. “I can’t imagine living without you in my life. And I guarantee that Becky and Bayley feel the same way. You’re our girl, and we’ll _always_ be there for you. Right there with you, every step of the way, wherever our lives may take us. I promise.”

Her declaration over and done with, Charlotte closed her eyes and leaned her head backwards against the door. She blew out the breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding, attempting to relax her mind. Her thoughts were racing with the numerous possible ways Sasha could react to her pronouncement of affection. Would she be reassured and start to return to her old self? Would she take her words with a grain of salt? Was she too far gone to prove receptive?

Charlotte was jolted out of her inner turmoil by the sound of a lock sliding out of place. The blonde jumped to her feet, eagerly awaiting the door being pulled open, a chance to finally lay eyes upon her friend and wrap her up in the tightest hug imaginable. A hug tighter than even Bayley would ever be able to manage.

Seconds passed, and the door remained closed. Charlotte’s hopeful expression fell. She leaned forward to rest her face against the wooden panels.

Sasha’s voice called out from further within the room, obviously no longer sat against the door. “I’m not coming out, but you can come in. If you want.” The ending suggestion was noticeably tacked on to the end, as though she thought there was any possibility left that Charlotte would turn back and leave her alone. But one thing the last few minutes had taught Charlotte more plainly than ever, was that abandoning Sasha to wallow in her own misery could never be an option.

Charlotte exhaled deeply and slowly before tightly grasping the handle, slowly pushing the door open. The wood creaked as the door retreated back into the room for possibly the first time that day. As she entered the room her eyes adjusted to the dim light, the closed curtains only letting in minimal lighting. Her eyes fell upon Sasha sitting on her bed, having retreated back under the covers.

Charlotte’s watery eyes stung upon the sight before her. She had wiped her eyes dry before entering the room of course, but she had deliberately left the wet tracks of her tears down her cheeks alone. The intended effect of course being to show Sasha that her words had affected her to the point of understanding, but not so badly to leave her overwhelmed.

Now though? That was nothing compared to the dishevelled state Sasha was in. Her purple hair was a scraggly, tangled mess, as though she’d spent an entire night tossing and turning, while periodically tugging at the ends in frustration. Her skin was partially obscured by the smudged lines of makeup having run down her face some time ago. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot. Charlotte honestly could not recall Sasha ever looking in such an emotional state. In short: she looked a complete mess. But she was _their_ mess.

Sasha opened her mouth to speak, only for her breath to hitch and snap her mouth closed again. Charlotte shook her head and continue to walk over to the bed. She didn’t say a word as she climbed in to sit beside Sasha. She put her arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a side embrace. Sasha sniffled and began to weep as her shoulders dropped, melting into the cuddle, what little resolve she had left bursting at the seams.

“Shh,” Charlotte whispered as she stroked Sasha’s matted hair back into place, smoothing it out slightly. “You’re going to be okay, boo boo,” Charlotte cooed as she squeezed the smaller girl’s shoulder. A tiny smile tugged at the corners of Sasha’s lips, visibly showing positive emotion for the first time. The term of endearment was used frequently by Sasha towards others, and the other three had taken to adopting it whenever they needed to brighten Sasha’s spirits. The familiar gesture spoke volumes, causing Sasha to tighten her grip around Charlotte’s waist.

Sasha didn’t _need_ to ask Charlotte for physical reassurance. Charlotte just _knew_. She could see it in her eyes, and sense it as though the need to be held emanated from every pore of her skin, with every fibre of Sasha’s being. Right now, the broken woman needed a hug like she needed oxygen.

But that’s all we need sometimes. Someone to come along and pick us back up, someone who we trust completely to hold us and tell us it’ll all be okay, and we believe them. It won’t fix reality, but it may just give us the strength to keep soldiering on, to make everything okay again.

And while Charlotte was under no illusions that her hug would restore Sasha’s willpower, she hoped it would do enough to bring her back from the edge.

And honestly, it worked. That moment was the first in a long time where Sasha allowed herself to forget about the issues which plagued her. All that mattered was right here, right now. Charlotte and Sasha together, sharing body warmth and enjoying being beside one another.

The two women continued to sit in silence for some time, content to let the comforting embrace take over their senses. No further words were said, the blanket of silence enveloping the room. It wasn’t a cold, tense, or awkward silence, but comfortable. Nothing was said because nothing needed to be said. The only thing that mattered was that Charlotte made Sasha feel okay again, if only for the moment.

Drunk with the love and appreciation they shared for one another, the pair’s eyes began to feel heavy, as together they slowly drifted off to sleep’s comforting embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we have it! Now we know what's wrong with Sasha, and it's up to the others to try to help her out of it.
> 
> What did you think? As this is a story based off of my own experiences a couple of months ago, I do have the concern that I'm pushing my own words into the characters and coming off unnaturally. Am I doing an adequate job of avoiding that? Did Sasha come across authentic and plausible? Am I doing a good enough job with the characterisations of Becky, Charlotte and Bayley?
> 
> As always, thank you for reading. If you haven't already, please consider leaving a kudo and comments. They really do make this much more fulfilling. And if there is anything I'm doing wrong, I can't know unless someone tells me.
> 
> \- HunTAH


	3. I'm Not Dead Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha and Charlotte wake up from their nap and work on their next move. We see the conversation Becky and Bayley had earlier in the night after being sent away by Charlotte. Sasha reunites with Becky and Bayley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is a reference to Not Dead Yet by LEDGER - a song written about depression.
> 
> Probably should have mentioned this earlier, but Chapter 2's title was a reference to a lyric of the same song. The title of this story is a lyric reference to Awake and Alive by Skillet.
> 
> Now enough with the song recommendations, onto Chapter 3! :)

As she slowly flitted open her eyes, all Sasha could see was darkness. Although it only felt like moments ago the room had been bathed in a dim yellow glow, now she couldn’t see a thing. Little by little, her pupils adjusted to the newfound gloom. Suddenly, bright light filled her vision through the closed curtain, but quickly disappeared just a second later. Her brain quickly surmising that a car had just driven by, it’s headlights the source of the light.

Her mind was momentarily free of the dark thoughts that had previously clouded it in her groggy state, her mind not yet fully awake. Sasha moved to leave the bed, only for the grip around her shoulder to tug her back into position. Sasha looked back in confusion, perturbed as to what was preventing her from getting up. She gazed back at a face obscured by a blonde curtain of hair. It took no time at all for Sasha to recognise the form of one of her three greatest friends in the world: Charlotte Flair.

But why was she asleep in bed with her?

Realisation suddenly flooded Sasha’s waking mind, a tide of anguish washing over her. Charlotte was here with her because Sasha had needed taking care of. Because Sasha was deeply depressed.

The aforementioned depression, briefly forgotten, returned in full force. And just like that, it felt like the floor had been swept from underneath her feet, plunging her thought processes down an endless chasm.

Before Sasha had the chance to lose herself in her own mind yet again, Charlotte’s eyes blinked open, having been woken by Sasha’s stirring. Green orbs stared into Sasha’s brown irises.

“Hey,” Charlotte mumbled sleepily. Her speech may have sounded groggy, but her vision was zeroed in as clearly as could be on Sasha, as though she was the only thing that mattered in the blonde’s life.

“Hey,” Sasha replied in a far more alert tone, having had a minute longer than her to wake up. Charlotte smiled warmly. Although she was under no illusions that Sasha was magically mentally healthy again, her voice held enough of her former emotion to be recognisably her.

Charlotte reached forward and brushed strands of purple hair out of Sasha’s face, tucking them behind her ear. When she pulled away, Sasha’s hand shot up and grabbed onto the back of Charlotte’s. Sasha gently pulled Charlotte’s palm to rest against her own cheek. She instantly melted into the touch, a subtle shudder shooting through her body, evidently in desperate need of physical comfort. The taller woman couldn’t help but allow a motherly smile. Sasha was usually quite needy when she wanted to be of course, but she typically went about it in a much more subtle manner. Now though? She wasn’t even trying to shy away from it, exposing just how much she needed Charlotte’s touch to make her feel okay in the moment. It was adorable really; Sasha was like a child begging their mother to hold them to make them feel safe and secure. And Charlotte was only too happy to oblige.

But there was also a bittersweet feeling to this moment. This action alone let Charlotte know just how far gone Sasha was. The shorter girl didn’t make a habit of physical contact. Sure, at this point in their friendship Sasha could never deny Becky, Bayley or Charlotte physical comfort if they initiated it. But it was rare for her to be the one to openly ask for it. Charlotte pushed these thoughts to one side, choosing to appreciate the moment for what it was, rather than what it meant.

A few seconds passed in comfortable silence, Charlotte stroking her thumb back and forth over the skin on Sasha’s cheek. The two women stared into each other’s eyes, as though their shining orbs held all the answers the other was seeking. A silent telepathic conversation between the two, wordlessly communicating a message of mutual love. And especially so for Charlotte to Sasha, the communication of care for her wellbeing. Sasha may never have asked for it, but Charlotte considered herself as having a duty of care when it came to her girls.

Charlotte could have stayed in this position for hours, letting Sasha know that she would always be there to support her. And as far as she could tell, Sasha looked content to stay there too. But she knew that if she didn’t break the contact off now before she became lost to it, they would stay that way all night. Though she was getting private time to comfort Sasha now, it didn’t feel right to prolong it for too much longer. They weren’t a two person unit; they were a four woman family. So it was with reluctance that Charlotte retracted her hand back down to her side, Sasha giving a quiet petulant whine as she did so in protest before pouting. Not as exaggerated as the pouts she’d usually give, but a welcome signifier of her current mental state.

Charlotte chuckled at the girl’s unadulterated childishness. A glimpse of the old Sasha. “Come on Sasha, we can’t stay in bed all day and all night.“ She glanced over at the digital clock on the bedside table. 20:34. “What do you say we go see what the other two are up to?”

Sasha’s adorable pout quickly transformed into a frown. Her eyes were no longer soft, but widened with a hint of anxiety. “Charlotte, I…” she stopped, swallowing hard to steady herself. “I don’t think I can do it. Opening my door to just you was one thing, but I-”

Charlotte interrupted before she allowed her uneasy friend to ramble with the speed of a runaway train. “Sasha, I know you’re scared.” She stopped to place her hand on top of Sasha’s own resting on top of the covers, waiting as the skittish woman peered up into her eyes. Charlotte’s piercing gaze commanded her to take heed, oozing trust. “But don’t be. You have no reason to fear them. You should know that by now. Look, I know you have a hard time opening up to people, but we’re your family. Who can you talk to if not us?”

“It’s…it’s not that,” Sasha stuttered, clearly having a hard time putting her discomfort into words. “I do trust them, of course I do. I love you guys more than anyone else in the world.” A single tear rolled down Sasha’s cheek, Charlotte instinctively moving her hand to wipe it away. “But you don’t know how hard it was for me to lay everything out for _you_. And I was only able to get myself through it because...” Sasha paused, looking deeper into Charlotte’s eyes. “Well, because you’re basically our mom.” Sasha sniffled, and Charlotte waited patiently, giving her all the time in the world. “I don’t think I could say it all over again.”

Seeing the vulnerable look in Sasha’s eyes, Charlotte reached forward and pulled Sasha into a hug, the smaller woman groaning as she did so. “Come on Charlotte, you know I don’t like hugs!”

“Then why do you let Bayley hug you so much?” Charlotte retorted, playfulness coating her tone, her voice somewhat muffled as she buried her face into Sasha’s shoulder.

“Yeah, like _you_ could ever say no to her,” Sasha shot back in retort, happy to engage in the playful banter. Charlotte couldn’t suppress the wide grin crossing her face even if she wanted to.

Charlotte pulled away, looking directly into Sasha’s eyes, beaming with pride at the wit of the lively, sometimes sharp-tongued Sasha they knew and loved peeking through. “That’s my girl.”

Sasha couldn’t help but smile back, the displays of affection breaking through the walls she’d carefully put up.

“We don’t have to talk about it tonight, I promise,” Charlotte urged, her eyes practically begging Sasha to trust her unreservedly. “Tonight is just about us enjoying each other’s company. No strings attached. Pinky promise?”

Charlotte held her pinky out to Sasha, flashing a playful grin. The purple-haired woman chuckled softly at the taller woman’s goofiness. She had no second thoughts about linking her pinkie finger with Charlotte’s.

It was at that moment that Sasha’s stomach growled, so furiously and unexpectedly that it caught both women off-guard. Amused at the noise which had broken their moment, the two women broke out in laughter simultaneously. Charlotte was honestly surprised that the intensity hadn’t caused Sasha to double over in pain.

“Sasha, please tell me you actually ate something today?” Charlotte asked in a disapproving tone.

“Huh, I guess I actually haven’t eaten since yesterday,” Sasha replied as she looked down and began to fidget with her fingers in her lap, unable to meet Charlotte’s glare.

“Sasha!” Charlotte scolded.

“What? You don’t think about that stuff when you’re busy thinking about…about…” Sasha trailed off, hoping that implication would be enough.

Charlotte grabbed hold of Sasha’s hands, halting the younger woman’s fidgeting. “That’s it, we are definitely going out there and getting some food in your belly. You’re already skinny enough as it is woman!”

Sasha huffed. “Fine, but only because you asked so nicely.”

Charlotte stood up off the bed, placing her hands on her hips in an authoritative gesture. “I’ll wait outside. Take five to tidy yourself up, and we’ll go see what Bay and Becks are up to." Sasha nodded, earnestly enough for Charlotte to believe she would.

Once Charlotte left the room and closed the door behind her, Sasha blew out a large puff of air from her lips. What had she done to deserve a best friend like Charlotte Flair?

* * *

**_(Earlier that evening)_ **

_The tension in the air was palpable. Fingers twisted and turned in the brunette’s lap as the woman in question fiddled aimlessly, plainly a nervous ball of energy. Her eyes darted about in all directions, as though she was trying to find something in her surroundings to distract her hectic mind – to little success._

_The fiery haired woman sitting on the adjacent couch wasn’t faring much better. The sounds of flesh furiously tapping against a wooden surface sounded over and over again, the woman drumming her fingers endlessly against the coffee table in a rhythm that was clearly there to create noise rather than to be a recreation of a specific tune. The absentminded drumming said one thing about her nerves, but her expression told a different story. The woman’s face was set in a stoic mask. Mouth neutral, eyes focused harshly on the table in front of her._

_It had been mere minutes since Charlotte had sent the two away to deal with the problem herself, but the wait had felt like hours._

_“Bayley, will you please keep your eyes in one direction?” Becky piped up, eager to break the silence that had followed them since Charlotte asked them to retreat to the living room. “Yer kinda freakin’ me out a little bit.”_

_Bayley unwittingly did exactly as Becky asked, opening her mouth in shock to fix the redhead with a stare of disbelief. “Me? And what about you? I’m surprised you haven’t worn your fingers down to the bone by now!” Becky scoffed lightly in response. “I’m terrified for Sasha, Becky. How are you so fucking calm right now?”_

_Becky’s eyes bugged out at the question, unable to believe what she was hearing. “You think I’m unaffected?” she rasped; her throat suddenly tightened up at the accusation. “Bay, I am freakin’ out here!”_

_Without thinking, Bayley scoffed in derision at the admission. “Aside from the annoying drumming, you’re not doing a good job of showing it.”_

_Becky shot up from her place on the couch and began to pace. After a few steps back and forth she turned to look at Bayley. “An’ you wanna know why that is Bay?” She paused to allow the question to sink in before answering herself. “Because I can’t. You? You wear your heart on your sleeve, laid bare for all to see. And that’s fine, that’s good. That’s what makes you, you. But me? I deflect. I make jokes, I lighten the mood. To make you feel better. To make you feel less tense.” Becky’s brown eyes had transformed from hard and distant to glistening pools of tears threatening to spill over at any time. “I can’t let myself fall apart because I have to stay strong **for you**.” She accentuated the last couple of words by thrusting both palm upward hands towards Bayley. “I can’t stay strong if I show you just how much this is hurting me.” Becky shook her head and blinked hard, tears spilling out of her eyes and rolling down her cheeks as she did so._

_A wave of guilt washed over Bayley at the revelation. She’d known Becky long enough to think she understood her best friend pretty well, but clearly not well enough. She stood and walked over to Becky, wrapping her arms around the Irish woman’s shoulders. Becky’s gaze had been fixed at her feet, but lifted her head as she felt Bayley tug her body to press against hers. Becky wiped the rest of her tears on Bayley’s clothing as she burrowed her face into her shoulder._

_“I’m sorry Becks,” Bayley rasped out in a low tone. “For misjudging you.”_

_Becky raised her head to ensure her honest retort wouldn’t be muffled. “I don’t blame you.”_

_Bayley pulled away unexpectedly. Becky’s breath hitched, letting out a barely audible gasp at the sudden loss of contact. “We could be waiting a while, wanna play some Mario Kart?”_

_Becky’s lips curled into a playfully sinister smirk. “Only if you wanna get yer ass handed to you by Luigi.”_

* * *

It was a much more refreshed looking Sasha Banks that exited her bedroom for the first time in over 24 hours. True to her word, Charlotte was waiting patiently, a beaming smile at her friend’s bravery. Though she wasn’t going to pretend she fully understood Sasha’s descent into the depths of depression, she knew her best friend well enough to know that putting herself out there, even to the people she unequivocally trusted with all her heart, was hard for her. She knew that the instant they walked out there that the redhead and the brunette would bombard Sasha with questions – questions that Sasha wasn’t yet ready to answer.

Charlotte admired the fact that Sasha was managing to put on a brave face, knowing full well that she still wasn’t feeling well inside. But that made Charlotte’s mind even more troubled. How long had their best friend been struggling, alone, without their knowledge? Physical pain is easy to spot; human skin is fragile, bruising too easily to fully hide. But mental anguish is infinitely harder to see – especially if the person in question grows adept at concealing their emotions. Sasha Banks had been concealing her true feelings to avoid vulnerability all her life. Only in the group’s most intimate moments had the troubled hair dye enthusiast ever shown any.

Charlotte offered her hand to Sasha, who arched a questioning eyebrow in response. Charlotte chuckled softly as she dropped her arm back down to her side. “Suit yourself.”

As the two girls approached the living room, they heard the sound of the TV growing in volume as they drew closer. Charlotte’s heart softened at the sight before them, and a quick glance at Sasha betrayed an aching smile from the smaller woman – an ache to be included once again after her self-enforced seclusion.

Bayley and Becky were sat side by side on the couch, Becky’s arm slung over the back of the couch to rest around Bayley’s shoulder. Bayley had obviously long leaned into the embrace, her head resting against Becky’s boulder shoulder.

Charlotte cleared her throat loudly, alerting the other two to their presence. Becky and Bayley turned and jumped to their feet in record time, Becky reaching for the remote to pause the episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine before dropping the remote again in one deft swoop. Bayley couldn’t help herself, bounding over to wrap Sasha in a death grip of a hug as though her beloved had come back from the dead, and clutching her as tightly as humanly possible was the only way to prevent her from leaving again.

Sasha couldn’t help but smile softly at the forced physical contact, though she obviously wasn’t keen for it to last too long. “Bay, you’re kinda crushing me,” came the strangled gasp. Bayley released her hold in an instant, stepping back as Sasha failed to supress a giggle at the hugger’s horrified look.

Becky was less straightforward, striding up to Sasha with a mischievous grin, though the twinkle in her eyes showed that she was just as overjoyed to see her as Bayley had been. “So nice of the princess to leave her castle to walk among us mere mortals,” Becky teased.

“What would you idiots do without me?” Sasha shot back good naturedly with a watery smile. It didn’t escape the others attention that her voice sounded small, positively timid, as opposed to the usual bluster she’d conjure up. It was obvious that she was still hurting, but making an effort to soldier on.

An awkward silence stretched between the four, all seemingly walking on eggshells, figuring out the best way to proceed. Becky and Bayley turned to look at each other for a few seconds, apparently having a conversation with their eyes, before simultaneously turning back to regard Sasha.

“Why didn’t you tell us-“ Becky began before one glance into the warning glare shot by Charlotte from over Sasha’s shoulder shut her down; the fierce look in Charlotte’s eyes telling her to leave it alone. A glare so potent that it caused Becky to shrink into herself slightly. Bayley did so as well in second-hand shame, feeling just as responsible for Becky’s insensitivity. And if the piercing look wasn’t enough, the tall blonde raised the palm of her hand in the air above and behind Sasha’s head, a stopping gesture.

“…that you wanted to pick something else to watch?” the Irish woman finished. An awkward and painfully obvious save of course, but Sasha didn’t seem to mind. She understood that Bayley and Becky were desperate to know so they could begin trying to help her. She just wasn’t ready for that tonight though, and was thankful for the change in topic.

“Thanks guys, but I’m honestly just happy to watch whatever you’re watching.” A forced smile curved Sasha’s lips ever so slightly, silently begging them not to press her any further. To her relief, Becky seemed to relent, nodding in acknowledgement at the unvoiced request.

Another few moments of awkward silence followed, the tension eventually broken by Charlotte as an idea came to her. “Alright, we all have tomorrow off. I’m certainly in no hurry to sleep.” Charlotte shot a knowing glance at Sasha, the two sharing the reference to their energising nap. “What do you say we have an all-night movie night?”

It was comical to see the instantaneous change in body language in both Becky and Bayley. The two girls instantly perked up at the suggestion, like a dog being told by their owner that they’re going for a walk. Their eyes lit up in an instant, awkward smiles transforming into gleeful grins. Bayley in particular looked she was about to bounce up and down in joy.

While Becky and Bayley were busy sharing in each other’s joy, Sasha didn’t care to wipe the genuine smile from her face at the pure joy radiating off her other two best friends, happy to revel in the moment. The smile was short-lived though, the purple-haired woman dropping back into a neutral expression the instant the other two turned back to her. Bayley and Becky may have missed the girl’s momentary rise in mood, but unbeknownst to Sasha, Charlotte did not. She knew that she would do whatever it took to keep on raising Sasha’s mood for as long as it took before her friend was back to her usual confident, happy self.

Fortunately, she didn’t have long to become lost in her thoughts before Sasha’s stomach grumbled loudly again, causing the uncharacteristically shy woman to place a hand over her abdomen and blush slightly in embarrassment.

“So uhh, is pizza still on offer?” Sasha shot a sheepish smile with a nervous chuckle. “I’m starving!”

Becky failed entirely to suppress a giggle. “Of course, lass.”

“I’m calling them up this time though,” Charlotte cut in. “We’re not having Becky do it again,” she shot a glare over at the Irishwoman in question. “Not after last time. Never again.”

Becky whistled nonchalantly as she looked away, schooling her features into the most innocent mask she could before looking back at Charlotte. “Don’t know whatcha mean.”

“Becky, how many times, you can’t call up takeout places just to make puns out of their menu!” the tall blonde sighed exasperatedly.

Becky pouted as she crossed her arms. “Well excuse me for tryin’ ta help them out! Hardly my fault they’re missin’ a trick by not callin’ it a Papa Ronnie pizza.”

Bayley pinched the bridge of her noise with a groan. “For the last time, it’s called what it is because it has pepperoni slices on it. They’re not going to rename it to reference Ronda Rousey!”

As long a road to recovery as she had before her, Sasha couldn’t help but sit back, close her eyes, and just enjoy the playful banter between her best friends. Right now, she couldn’t worry about her future even if she wanted to. All she wanted to do was bask in the moment, enjoying her friends doing their best to distract and cheer her up.

The four best friends spent the rest of the night watching movies, laughing, joking, and consuming copious amounts of pizza. Truth be told, it was the best Sasha Banks had felt in many weeks. As they all eventually began to succumb to sleep in the early hours of the morning, the last thought Sasha had before she fell asleep was that perhaps she might eventually be okay again after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're now over halfway through the story! 
> 
> What did we think? Did I pack too much cuteness into this chapter? Lets be honest, Becky phoning up takeaways to make puns out of their menu is 100% something she'd do.
> 
> I continue to be overwhelmed by the incredible response this story has gotten! I knew this was a highly relatable topic of course, but I didn't expect so much interaction. Thank you to everyone who has decided to give this story a read, left a kudo and a comment. It means so much to me that people are engaging with this story so much. I'm just pleased and proud. If this story helps even just one person battling depression (I know Sasha's Chronicle certainly helped me), then it was one thousand percent worth it. And even if you've been fortunate enough to not have directly experienced depression, then I hope you find it an entertaining story nonetheless. 
> 
> \- HunTAH


	4. I May Be Broken, But I'm Not Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte lets Bayley and Becky in on what's wrong with Sasha. The four talk about how to move forward. A time jump occurs, before a shocking cliffhanger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we get going, I'd like to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who has given this story a chance so far. This is my first story to receive 300+ hits, and I'm sure it'll reach 400 within the next 24 hours. Thank you to everyone who's left comments and kudos, really appreciate it!

The following morning Charlotte relayed Sasha’s depression as best she could to Becky and Bayley while the purple-haired woman in question was sound asleep.

“What?!” Becky whisper-yelled as loud as she dared, eyes wide open in disbelief.

“Keep your voice down!” Charlotte hissed.

Bayley looked over to Sasha’s still slumbering form, whose subconscious response to the conversation was to roll over in her sleep, mumbling incoherently as she did so. The brunette beside her shut her eyes momentarily and exhaled sharply, thankful that Becky’s outburst hadn’t woken Sasha up.

“After all this time…she never said a word,” Becky shook her head in disbelief, careful to keep her voice low this time.

“Can you blame her?” Bayley bit back, the words coming out more harshly than she intended. Though she normally had the patience of a saint, this whole situation was pushing her to limits that she’d never reached before. Like elastic, even she only had so far before she snapped. “She was so lost she couldn’t give us a choice…” Bayley’s voice trailed off as she stared wistfully at the woman resting in sleep’s comforting embrace. Truth be told, she looked as peaceful as she used to look before their world had been turned upside down. A remnant of her old self, proving that she wasn’t beyond saving. They just had to give her a reason to allow them to pull her out of the hole.

Glancing over at Becky, Bayley couldn’t help but notice a look of remorse she’d never seen cross the redhead’s features before. No matter what, the Irish woman was always upbeat, slightly moody at the worst. But that look she had on her face, what was that? What had originated as a downcast expression had transformed. Eyebrows narrowed, brown eyes burning with an intense fire, her mouth curled into a pout that was not adorable, but more akin to a fierce scowl. If Bayley didn’t know better, she’d say it was a look of self-loathing. But did she really know better? Even as well as she knew her friend, Becky almost always put up some sort of front. The redhead revelled in positive emotions, any negative emotions seemed to be perpetually pushed to the side, seldom revealing themselves. It made sense that eventually they would combust into a raging firestorm from the fiery Irish woman.

But yet, it was not with a bang, but with a whimper that Becky’s next utterance came. “We fucked up big time,” the words finally escaped Becky’s throat through clenched teeth. Her scratchy voice sounded as though the lining of her throat had been rubbed raw. “How could we ‘ave been so stupid and self-absorbed?” She turned to look at both Bayley and Charlotte, the bitter anger in her tone rising with every word. “So thoughtless and selfish?” With neither of her friends able to provide an answer, Becky’s rage gradually fizzled out. Her clenched fists stopped shaking at her side, eyes calming to resemble weariness. She hung her head in shame, orange hair cascading down to obscure her face. The next words had never sounded so broken and defeated coming from the usually stoic Irish woman. “I really don’t know how to fix this.”

Bayley’s lower lip wobbled, shocked at the effect the whole scenario was having on Becky. Never had she seen her friend crumble like this. Clearly the effects of Sasha’s depression were having wide-reaching implications, like an earthquake causing ripples for miles around. Without even having to think, she surged forward and wrapped her arms around Becky, momentarily soothing the redhead. Bayley liked to joke that her hugs had healing powers. But right now, it would be hard to argue with the results, with Becky’s sagging spirits lifting momentarily. Even though they only rose by a fraction of an inch, it was enough.

Charlotte’s voice cut through the embrace, both women instantly turning their attention to the blonde, who’s body language looked more resolute and firmer than they’d seen her since before this whole situation began. “Here’s what we do: we’re going to go in the other room and talk this through,” she turned to look into the Irish woman’s eyes. “Becks, you’ve been pushing your anxieties and worries down for far too long. As this outburst just proved, they need a release.” She smiled at her friend while pushing some of her fiery hair out of her eyeline, before looking across at Sasha. “And then once we’re done, I have an idea on how to start Sasha’s day off the right way.”

* * *

The first thing Sasha Banks thought as she woke up was that she’d enjoyed the best night’s sleep she’d had in weeks.

The second thing was that she could hear the faint sound of sizzling.

Curious at the sound but still not yet ready to open her eyes, Sasha inhaled, allowing the delicious aroma to waft into her nostrils. Her lips curled into a smile as she detected the delectable smell of bacon. She sleepily opened her eyes and outstretched her limbs like a cat, shifting in her position on the couch and yawning as she did so. In the process of stretching, she felt fabric rubbing against her. Looking downwards, she discovered that her body was covered underneath a blanket. That’s funny, she didn’t remember grabbing a blanket. But it didn’t take a genius to work out how she came to be snuggled beneath the comfortable fabric.

Pulling the blanket off her body, Sasha stood up from the couch, cracking her neck as she did so. Beyond the couch, she could see into the kitchen. She couldn’t see much through the crack of the door, but she could hear her friends’ voices. Becky’s Irish lilt, Charlotte’s reverent voice, and Bayley’s sweet tone were easily detectable. Those were the most recognisable sounds to Sasha Banks, and amongst those she held dearest. She’d know them anywhere.

As she creaked open the door, all attention was immediately drawn to her. Before Sasha could get a closer look at what was currently being cooked, she was instantly assaulted by a barrage of limbs wrapping around her body.

“Good morning to you too Bayley,” Sasha smiled as she returned the hug and closed her eyes. Before she realised what was happening, she felt two additional pairs of arms fling around her shoulders.

“Mornin’ lass,” came Becky’s unmistakable rasp. There was an edge of roughness to her voice, as though she’d recently been crying. Barely discernible to most, but obvious to her best friends.

“We thought the smell of breakfast would wake you up,” Charlotte chirped cheerily with a softness to her voice.

“You guys know me too well,” Sasha replied with an awed tone that communicated her appreciation. Sasha paused for a moment before shifting her tone to have a hint of mischievousness in it. “Except for the fact you’ve forgotten that I’m not a hugger.”

“Too bad!” Bayley exclaimed, causing Sasha to chuckle softly.

The four best friends remained in the group embrace for several moments, none truly having a desire to part, basking in the warmth it brought to their hearts. But then Charlotte remembered she had cooking to attend to. It wouldn’t be a good start to the day if they burned their house down due to overindulgence of their emotions, no matter how good it felt. She reluctantly pulled away and went right back to the pan full of sizzling bacon on the stove. The others followed suit, Bayley going to check on the eggs and sausages, while Becky hopped back up onto a stool, clearly not being involved with the cooking.

Sasha found herself chuckling internally at this. All the years they’d known each other, and they still wouldn’t trust Becky to cook. Almost every single time she tried ended in disaster. After all, this was the same woman who once struggled for twenty minutes on a facetime call with Charlotte to open a tin of pineapples before admitting defeat.

“Can I help?” Sasha asked as she peeked at the food, her mouth already starting to water at the sight.

“No, it’s almost done. But you can grab the plates,” Charlotte responded as she flipped a slice of bacon over with her cooking tongs.

After having done so, Sasha sat down opposite Becky, waiting eagerly for breakfast to finish cooking. She glanced over at the stove before she felt Becky place a hand on top of hers. Sasha looked back into Becky’s eyes, tilting her head puzzlingly. The normally fiery redhead held an expression of concern, shining brown orbs boring into Sasha’s soul; a look she’d seldom seen the upbeat Irish woman display. Becky squeezed Sasha’s hand affectionately.

“You know we’re always here for you luv.” It was more of a statement than a question.

Sasha furrowed her brows in confusion before gasping slightly in surprise, “Oh god, Charlotte told you, didn’t she?” Truthfully, Sasha wasn’t surprised. She knew the other two would be desperate to find out, and they would have sooner or later in any case.

Before Becky could answer, the woman in question piped up. “I did.” Charlotte looked at Sasha apologetically, hoping she wouldn’t be angry at her for revealing private information without her consent. But she felt she had a good reason for doing so.

A brief flash of white-hot anger rippled through Sasha's mind. Who the hell did Charlotte Flair think she was, sharing information that she told her in confidence?! Did she not think that information was for Sasha only to divulge? Clearly the emotion was showning on her face, as Charlotte widened her eyes at the rage burning across Sasha's features. Her lips curled into a growl, seething glare threatening to set the kitchen ablaze with its intensity. 

But then as she thought it through, Sasha realised that her friend had actually done her a favour. A rare instance of the typically hot-headed woman actually taking a moment to consider more than just her initial reaction. Moments passed as Sasha looked down and took a deep breath to calm herself down. She reverted back to a neutral expression, before looking back up to meet Charlotte's worrying gaze.

Sasha nodded with a subtle smile directed entirely at Charlotte, not even a trace of the previous anger remaining on her face, communicating the fact that she wasn’t truly mad at her in the slightest. Yes, Charlotte had betrayed her trust, and she wished Charlotte would have checked with her first, but she knew Charlotte would never do anything to cause her harm. She knew Charlotte had good intentions, only ever looking out for her. Honestly, Sasha was grateful that Charlotte saved her the trouble of having to retell her story. A story that was difficult enough for her to tell the first time around, let alone having to do it all over again. And besides that, Becky and Bayley were her best friends too, and there was never any doubt of them having her back on this too. They deserved to know. Sasha just didn’t honestly know if she could have brought herself to go through it all again. This way she wouldn’t have to.

It was really telling of their relationship that they could communicate all of this with an exchange of looks, their bond being strong enough to not need words to understand each other perfectly. So close were all four of them that Becky and Bayley both also understood exactly what had taken place in the wordless exchange.

“But I don’t want to discuss it before breakfast,” Sasha turned back to Becky, who seemed in agreement with the sentiment.

“No, of course not.”

Charlotte brought over plates full of crispy bacon, sausages, fried eggs and baked beans and set one each down in front of both Sasha and Becky, before returning to the counter to put food on her own plate.

A thought occurred to Becky, causing her to grin mischievously. She picked up a slice of bacon with her fork before gazing at Sasha. “When you do need to talk though, make sure you tell us. Don’t go _bacon_ my heart.”

“Ugh, you’re the worst!” Sasha groaned as Becky roared raucously in laughter.

“Well at least we know we’ve got you back now,” Charlotte commented as she strode over to the table, setting her plate down next to Sasha.

“How so?” Sasha asked as she whipped round to face the blonde, brushing her purple hair out of her face that had fallen in front of her eyes after doing so.

Instead of Charlotte, it was Bayley who answered. “You groaned at one of Becky’s puns. You certainly weren’t doing that yesterday.” Bayley shot Sasha a teasingly smug grin.

“C’mon, Becky has the sense to know I wasn’t being genuine!” Sasha protested, revelling in the light-hearted banter. She didn’t realise how much she missed it until she went a whole day without it. Now she knew she couldn’t go without it again.

Becky had her usual self-satisfied smirk etched on her face. “Nope, you said it, you can’t take it back now!”

The four friends began to eagerly tuck into their delicious breakfast, partaking in small talk and lighthearted banter only. They knew they had a much heavier topic to discuss afterwards, but the time for that was not now.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, the four of them were sat in their living room, knowing they couldn’t avoid this topic any longer. They had to talk about it.

“So, when did this start luv?” Becky asked as she took Sasha’s hand in hers.

“Don’t start getting all sappy on me Lynch,” Sasha scoffed as she pulled her hand away from Becky’s grasp.

“No, I’m serious.” There wasn’t a hint of anything otherwise on her features. This was new. What had happened to her annoying pun-factory best friend? Then realisation dawned on her. She happened. It was entirely down to her that Becky dropped her façade. Sasha didn’t know how to feel about this. Should she feel shame for causing Becky to adopt a more serious demeanour? Or should she feel a heart wrenching gratitude for having friends that would drop everything to help her?

Sasha swallowed as she took a moment to ready herself to answer the question, realising that Charlotte’s and Bayley’s eyes were also upon her. “A couple weeks after we came back from the summer. It just hit me that…this is it. A handful of months and then it’ll all be over.”

“But it won’t be, Sash,” Bayley butted in, her voice quiet but reassuring.

“You don’t know that!” Sasha shot back, sounding angrier than she intended. None of them called her out on it, understanding that when Sasha got emotional, she tended to lash out without thinking.

“No, we don’t. But we can make sure that it’s not the end,” Becky looked intensely into Sasha’s eyes, pupils hardened in a resolute promise. A promise to stay together, to remain firmly entrenched in each other’s lives, no matter where their lives led them.

“Something that happened earlier gave me an idea,” Bayley interrupted the silent conversation between Becky and Sasha. “I think what made this a lot worse than it had to be is the fact that you didn’t tell us.” Sasha opened her mouth to protest, but Bayley quickly carried on before she had the chance. “Not that I’m blaming you. What I’m saying is that I think keeping all of our worries and anxieties to ourselves is a big mistake. Especially now.”

Sasha narrowed her eyebrows and parted her lips slightly in a quizzical expression at Bayley’s penultimate remark.

“While we’re not suggesting that we’ve been consumed anywhere near the degree that you were, we all have our own share of worries about the future.” Sasha’s mouth gaped open as Bayley’s words sunk in. She’d never even considered that her friends might be hurting as well. She’d kept her hurt to herself; who’s to say her friends hadn’t been doing the same? The words hit her like a truck, tightening her fists so tightly her knuckles began to turn white as a flash of white-hot anger at herself burned bright for being so inconsiderate, focusing only on herself as she threw a pity party for one.

Clearly this showed on her face, as Becky’s fingers grasped around her tightened fist in an effort to calm her down. As she looked up to gaze into Becky’s brown pools, she didn’t see pity or frustration at Sasha’s behaviour, but understanding and reassurance, telling her that her behaviour had been warranted, that she didn’t blame her for the way she’d been acting. That it was okay. The gesture and the meaning behind it brought Sasha’s racing heart back down to a steadier beat.

Bayley cleared her throat to garner the attention back to her. “Which is why I’m suggesting that once a week, we all sit down and get everything off our chests. Anything that might be worrying us, anything causing us upset. Anything at all, no matter how small. Whether it’s because Becky ate all of the ice cream again-”

“Oi!”

“Or we feel like everything is crumbling down. No more keeping anything to ourselves, got it?” Bayley’s tone was firm and assertive, but her eyes were pleading, begging Sasha to comply.

Sasha could only nod in agreement, words seeming inadequate to convey how much she appreciated the camaraderie.

“Good,” Charlotte piped up, having stayed silent until now. “Now that we’re all in agreement, what do you girls want to do today?”

* * *

The next few weeks passed by much smoother for Sasha than the weeks before her mental breakdown had. Bayley, Charlotte and Becky were considerably more attentive than in the past, frequently checking in with Sasha, spending even more time together than they already did. At times it felt suffocating, but in the best possible way. Sasha had always liked attention; it made her feel cared for and gave her validation as a person worth their time. Whether they were greeting her every single morning without fail, staying figuratively (sometimes literally) latched onto her side like koala bears wherever possible, Sasha felt truly loved. The part of her that had previously consumed her no longer felt as though they could ever consider abandoning her.

Sasha’s vibrant purple hair slowly faded back to her natural black. She decided that dyeing her hair no longer seemed appealing. Striking hair colour made her stand out. While she was healing, she just wanted to be left alone, by anyone not named Becky, Charlotte or Bayley, to go at her own pace. Easier to do with a mundane hair colour.

True to their word, all four women sat down every Friday evening to talk about anything bothering them, their own little support group. Bayley spoke about her worries towards their oncoming deadlines. Becky voiced her anxieties missing her family back in Ireland. Even the normally stoic Charlotte was not immune, communicating her unhappiness about people’s tendency to shy away from her due to her intimidating presence and athletic prowess. Meanwhile every week Sasha would open up and let the other three know where her mental state was at.

They made her promise to find and confide in one of them whenever she was having a bad day, and she stuck to her word.

Seeking Charlotte out in the gym when her fears about the future darkened, with the blonde immediately dropping her workout without question to give moral support.

Knocking on Bayley’s door at 4AM to be held after a particularly realistic nightmare about being separated from the three, to which Bayley immediately gave her reassurance to the contrary.

Texting Becky, asking her to come to the University’s library during a late-night study session when her self-confidence in her academic abilities retreated, doubting that she could succeed. To which Becky practically ran over as quickly as she could to prove how gifted Sasha was, telling her over and over again “you got this” until she believed again.

It was gradual, but through daily movie hangouts, video game sessions, trips around the city, and just anything else they could think of doing to spend time together, Sasha slowly seemed to return to her former self before her breakdown. Her smiles became less forced and more radiant, her laughter less stifled and more genuine, her demeanour less stiff and more excitable.

* * *

**_(Four weeks post-Sasha’s emotional breakdown)_ **

“Charlotte! Charlotte!”

The woman in question groaned and blindly swatted away at the arms shaking her out of slumber. Instead of opening her eyes and answering the frantic calling of her name by a certain San Jose native, she rolled over and continued to ignore her.

“CHARLOTTE ASHLEY FLAIR!” The bellowing of her full name in an Irish accent caused her eyes to shoot open and take in the two women standing anxiously by the door. The only time they used her full name was when getting her attention was of the utmost importance. There must be a reason for waking her in the early hours of the morning. Glancing at the digital clock on her table, she read the time: 1:34 AM. Judging by the worry coating the frowns of both Becky and Bayley, something was wrong. Bayley’s eyes in particular were wide with fear.

“What is it?” Charlotte mumbled; voice still groggy with sleep.

“It’s Sasha. She’s gone.” Becky revealed, bottom lip wobbling in distress as she forced the words out.

Just like that, Charlotte was fully awake, mind already racing manically in panic mode.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are, one chapter left to go! What did we think of the penultimate chapter? Did everything feel authentic? Did you have any favourite lines? Why do we think Sasha upped and left? 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this! Please consider leaving comments and kudos (if you haven't already). Tell me what you liked, or possibly what you didn't like. I'd love to hear it all! :)
> 
> \- HunTAH


	5. We're Gonna Stand and Fight Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion to the saga. Becky, Charlotte and Bayley go out into the night in search of Sasha. The four share various conversations in the weeks that follow. Sasha fails to show up for class again without any communication.

“She could be anywhere!” Charlotte growled in exasperation, frustrated tears threatening to spill from her narrowed blue eyes. Blue was normally characteristic of a still pool of water. But in this case, the pool was anything but still, rippling with the shockwaves of her racing mind.

Right now, the three women were searching the streets for any sign of their missing petite friend, who had decided to go walkabouts in the early hours of the morning without leaving so much as a note.

Upon being woken, Charlotte had stormed into Sasha’s room to look for a clue as to where Sasha had disappeared to, or even a hint as to why, with Bayley and Becky hot on her heels. They didn’t find the former, but they found the latter. Sitting open in plain sight on Sasha’s laptop screen was the result of their most recent assignment. An assignment they remembered Sasha stressing about for nights on end leading up to the deadline. Well now they had evidence of the outcome, staring back at them more malevolently than they thought imaginable contained in a single letter: a C grade.

All three women instantly connected the dot. To an outsider, this wouldn’t seem like a particularly harrowing situation. After all, a C grade was still a pass. But Sasha had always been passionately dedicated to her work, demanding only the very best for herself. Anything less than the best was considered a catastrophic failure to her. If it wasn’t an A or a B, it was considered worthless to her. It’s often said that we’re our own worst critics, but Sasha Banks took it to a whole new level. However, there was more to it than that.

Since her breakdown, she had seemed to steadily regain the passion she had lost. Before, the exceptionally rare disappointing grade would send her into a furious sulk for hours on end. But now, after what had transpired a month ago? There was no telling the toll this had taken on her psyche, or if there were hidden factors involved. After losing her confidence, feeling she wasn’t up to the task, her three best friends had managed to convince her that she had the skills to render that insecurity nonsensical. But this result could have been taken by the conflicted young woman as validation for her despair. Despair that had been chipped away and torn asunder by Becky, Charlotte and Bayley. Well now they could only imagine the possibility of that despair having returned in full force, stronger than ever before. Now she had definitive proof to back it up.

After some debate, they realised that they had no other option but to go out and search for her. She’d left no indication of where she had gone, and her phone remained behind. And there was no way they were going to sit around and hope she would return. Not when she was wandering the streets alone in the dead of night. Anything could happen to her. Especially if she wasn’t in the right frame of mind.

“What do we do if we go out an’ she comes back before we manage to find her?” Becky questioned; her brow still knitted in worry.

“We’ll leave a note for her to call us,” Bayley answered instantly, as though she’d been thinking the scenario through in her own head. Knowing Bayley, she probably had been.

And so one desperately scrawled note later, the three wandered the streets, anxiously looking all around as they walked. On and on they went, racking their brains for anywhere Sasha could have wandered off to. At this time of night, all the usual places she liked to hang out at were shut. And there was no way she would have gone clubbing in her state. No, even between them, they couldn’t figure out a single likely location. And given that they were the people who knew her better than anybody else in the whole world, there likely wasn’t any readily available answer to the conundrum.

The minutes stretched well into the double digits, inching closer to triple digits, yet still no sign of their friend’s whereabouts. They called out her name periodically, but to no avail. They walked on and on, figuring that perhaps Sasha simply did not have a destination in mind. Perhaps all she thought to do was just to walk and walk, until she ran out of pavement. And so without a lead, they decided to do the same. After all, it’s not like they had a better idea.

What little conversation they had was brief, only mutterings and murmurings wondering aloud where the wayward woman had disappeared to.

There were very few people about at this time of night. What few they did encounter didn’t give them any trouble, only dirty looks as the group continued to call out loudly for their friend. They could only hope that Sasha hadn’t come across anyone malicious on her ill-advised late night/early morning solo walk.

At least an hour into their journey, the salty tang of sea air wafted into their nostrils. Their subconsciousness’s had only barely recognised it, but now they fully realised that their journey had taken them towards the docks.

As they moved closer towards the barrier separating them from the water below, they began to make out an outline of a person in the distance, their back to them as they seemed to be watching the boats moored in the water below.

Inching closer, they were able to make out the slender, feminine form. Their hearts sang a song of relief as they got close enough to realise they’d found their girl.

“SASHA!” they all collectively called out at once, the woman in question whipped around with a stunned expression on her face. Glasses slightly askew, beanie having retreated up out of place to not quite keep all of her dark hair contained. Her eyes were puffy, her cheeks tear stained. But there was a shining vulnerability in her shimmering irises, visible even in the dark, unable to hide her emotional state.

The three barrelled into her and held on tight, not allowing her to escape again. They were going to make sure she stayed put; they couldn’t risk losing her if she decided to run off again.

“Thank god you’re okay,” gasped Charlotte, somewhere between intense relief and disbelief that she was safe.

Lost for words, Sasha buried her face into the shoulder closest to her.

Eventually they pulled away. Before Sasha could open her mouth to begin to explain, she was caught off guard by a fist-sized impact to her shoulder. “Ow!”

“What the fuck dude?!” Bayley roared angrily, wearing a scowl fiercer than any she’d ever given before. In fact, none of them could recall seeing their hugger as scary as she looked now. “You fucking run off by yourself in the middle of the night, no phone, and you don’t bother to leave us a note?! Do you have any idea how stupid that was?! Anything could’ve happened to you!”

Sasha rubbed her throbbing shoulder. Bayley sure packed one hell of a punch. She couldn’t meet Bayley’s gaze, apparently deciding that the ground was infinitely more interesting. She shifted her feet for a few seconds before croaking out “Yeah, that’s kinda why I left without an explanation.”

Stunned by the answer she didn’t expect, Bayley found herself lost for words. Bewildered by Sasha’s thought process, she just left her mouth hanging wide open.

Becky mouthed Sasha’s words back to herself, trying to make sense of what her friend had said. After doing so, realisation dawned on her. But this was not the usual kind of enlightenment, the kind that left you feeling more knowledgeable and prouder for having brand new information. This was the kind of knowledge that gave her a queasy sensation in the pit of her stomach. Sasha had gone for a walk with the sole intention of not caring if something bad happened to her.

“What?!” Charlotte barked. The fierce glint in her eyes and the strong boom in her voice let the others know that she’d gone full overprotective mother mode.

Sasha seemed unfazed by the reaction, as though a complete disregard for her own wellbeing was a completely normal everyday thing to admit to. Unblinking, she stood her ground and met Charlotte’s glare with equal intensity. “Don’t look at me like that Charlotte. I’m okay now aren’t I?”

“But you could’ve been hurt, abducted, or worse!” The strain in Charlotte’s tone made it clear just how much she was holding back. It was clear to everyone else that the blonde mother hen was itching to explode in rage at Sasha’s recklessness. “You know the type of people hanging around at this time of night!”

“You mean like us?” Sasha bit back, a bratty smirk on her face of one who knew they’d outsmarted the other while also not shying away from pettiness.

“Sasha…” Becky cut in before the look in Sasha’s eyes shot her way caused the redhead to trail off. There was a look there they hadn’t seen in weeks. Still a hint of sadness, yes. They doubted it would leave Sasha for some time, if ever. There was also a hint of anger there; yet only enough to counter Charlotte’s pointed tone. But there was a calmness there too. Not quite a look of tranquillity, yet not a look of someone resigned to their miserable fate either. But somewhere in between lay the aura currently radiating from Sasha Banks.

The sharp look in Sasha’s eyes towards Becky wasn’t one of anger, but a demand for silence so she could explain herself. Having had enough of mystery, the Irishwoman obliged.

“When I left, I wasn’t sure where I was going. In fact, I wasn’t sure of anything,” Unable to meet the gaze of her three friends, Sasha directed her attention to stare back out at the water. Her stomach churned at the reliving of emotion from hours past. “I was pissed off, I was bitter, I was upset, I was hurt. I spent all night cooped up in my room, going through my mind over and over again. I couldn’t sit there anymore; I had to get out of there. But more than that, there was one thing I knew beyond anything else.” She turned back to look into the attentive faces of her friends, all captured in rapt attention. “I…” Sasha hesitated for a moment before steeling herself to deliver the potentially upsetting information. “…I needed some space.”

If it was possible for one’s eyes to pop out of their socket through a look alone, Sasha had no doubt all three women would be doing that right now. Eyes bugging out, raised eyebrows, mouths gaping open in disbelief, all the typical shocked expressions were visual examples on her friends’ faces right now. For all the possible reasons they’d been cooking up in their minds, it was plain as day that none of them had expecting Sasha to drop that particular bombshell. Although her friends were usually more in touch with their emotions than she, Sasha felt more than a twinge of guilt at the looks of surprise shifting into ones of hurt. Something that she was beginning to understand could have been avoided if she’d been more open and communicated her discomfort at an earlier point before it all boiled over.

Noticing the pained and confused looks on her friends’ faces, Sasha realised it would be quicker to elaborate further, saving them the trouble, rather than wait for the inevitable question. The one-word question, overstuffed with more raw emotion than any other word in the English language: why?

“Look, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me over the past month,” Sasha started, trying her hardest to let her genuine appreciation shine through her features as she looked into the face of each woman in turn. “You guys have been there for me when I needed you most, supporting me, making sure I was coping.” Sasha’s smile dropped as she readied herself to continue, shaking her head. “But at times it’s felt like too much. You know I’m not a touchy-feely person, I hate talking about my feelings!”

The raised voice, the swift hand gestures, the fire in her eyes. All of which could easily be mistaken for anger. But Becky, Charlotte and Bayley all knew it wasn’t anger, but frustration. Frustration towards them for pushing her to open herself up, frustration at herself for her insecurities.

“It felt great at first, being reminded that I had people who cared about me, that were worried about me. But then it began to feel suffocating, like I couldn’t breathe without having you guys near me.” Sasha began to get choked up, before clearing her throat to cough away the strain in her voice. “And it scared me, having become so reliant and dependant on you. And I need to be able to stand on my own two feet. You’re not going to be around forever.” Sasha looked around with a bitter look on her face, noting the borderline horrified expressions on her friends’ faces at her suggestion.

“Don’t say that,” Becky croaked out as she shook her head in disgust at the very idea.

“But I have to,” Sasha retorted instantly, as though she’d been expecting that exact response. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm and compose herself before continuing on.

“When I got that result on my assignment back, I can’t even describe how bad I felt. I tried so hard, but I let myself down, and I let you guys down,” a sniffle escaped Sasha as tears began to appear in her eyes. She managed to just barely keep them at bay as she continued with her explanation, though her voice weakened with every second.

“You didn’t-“ Charlotte started before being interrupted.

“I did, and that grade confirmed it. It proved that I’m no longer good enough.” A single tear broke through Sasha’s defences, rolling down her cheek. “I sat there all-night long thinking about it, until there was too much going on in my head, and I needed to go. Somewhere, anywhere. I didn’t care where. I wasn’t exactly looking for trouble, but I didn’t give a damn if trouble decided to find me.” She just managed to get it out before the floodgates opened, the young woman fully breaking down. Luckily her girls were on hand to catch her, physically supporting her in a warm, comforting embrace. They remained there in a four-woman hug for several moments, not wanting to sully the warmth it provided with speech, the only noise being Sasha’s muffled sobs and intermittent sniffles.

“I thought I was okay again,” Sasha let out a bitter chuckle, “guess I’m not.”

Whether Sasha was speaking about her mental state over the past month or just over the past couple of hours wasn’t clear. In either case, what was clear was that she was in dire need of reassurance regarding her future. The four eventually separated, but remained silent for a few more moments.

“It’ll all be okay lass,” Becky spoke quietly, “you just need time.”

“Time to fuck everything up even more?” Sasha bit back, not with anger in her tone, but bitterness. “What’s the point? If I can’t prove that I’m better than average, then I should just drop out.”

Despite the resigned sadness of Sasha’s words, the three friends couldn’t help but feel hope stirring in their hearts. Even in Sasha’s morose state, she still retained her innate drive to be better. To fulfil her potential. To be the best version of herself. Of all her defining characteristics, that’s one which they suspected would never die.

“Sash, you didn’t fuck up,” Bayley said quietly but soothingly in an attempt to talk her friend off the metaphorical ledge. “This is just a one-off.”

“She’s right Sasha,” Charlotte agreed in the firm but supportive motherly tone they all knew and loved. “Your degree won’t be dependent on this one assignment. You slipped up this once, but that’s okay. We know you,” she gestured to the other two women beside her before turning back to Sasha, “and we know you won’t let yourself slip up again. The only way we learn in life is by failing and trying again.” Charlotte allowed a smile to curve her lips. A smile that proved infectious, as Sasha eventually relented and relaxed her downcast expression into a more hopeful, but tiny, smile.

“C’mon, let’s go sit down,” Becky said, motioning over to the bench overlooking the water. The four women did so, settling into a comfortable formation. Charlotte and Sasha in the middle, with Bayley on Sasha’s other side and Becky on the opposite end, next to Charlotte. A harmonious silence fell upon them as they watched the water and looked out at the night sky. The darkness was beginning to give way to a dark yellow tinge.

“Don’t give up Sash,” Bayley spoke up, turning to face the aforementioned woman, “we need you with us.” The pure emotion glistening in the brunette’s eyes pulled at Sasha’s heartstrings, realising just how much the other valued her company. She used to think it was her that needed them. Now it had never been clearer that they needed _her_ just as much. That was why they kept making such an effort to bring her back from the brink.

“I won’t,” Sasha said in a genuine tone, maintaining eye contact to communicate her honesty. “I’m not a quitter. I guess I just needed a reminder.”

“You know we’ll always be here for you, don’t you?” Becky asked in a heavy, uncertain tone. It was rare for the Irishwoman to ask a serious question without even a hint of light heartedness to it, though it seemed to be happening more often in the past few weeks. It spoke volumes that Becky felt the need to ask, and that stung Sasha a bit. Though she supposed she deserved it, after running out on them. That didn’t make Sasha feel any less guilty at the worry in Becky’s eyes. Worry that shouldn’t be there. Worry that only existed because Sasha fucked up through her inability to communicate her feelings.

“I do. Really, I do. I just get wrapped up in my own head sometimes.” Sasha swallowed harshly, preparing herself to finally be brave enough to do something she should have done right from the start. It was time to be honest with her best friends. Not looking at any one of them in particular, angling her eyeline forward towards the water, Sasha finally spoke up. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Becky and Bayley both asked simultaneously.

“For keeping all this to myself. For running out on you guys instead of having the guts to tell you I needed some space. I’ve been selfish and I-”

“You’re safe now, that’s more important than anything else,” Charlotte wrapped an arm around Sasha’s shoulder and pulled her head to rest against her own. The action worked wonders to calm Sasha down, a familiar embrace that the now dark-haired woman would never be able to fully explain how it felt like home.

“But besides that,” Bayley grabbed Sasha’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, “we know what you’re going through, and we understand how hard it is for you to be open in the first place.” The taller woman with an affinity for hugs left a further implication unsaid. _Let alone when you’re in pain._

With the weighted conversation, it only felt right to all four women to sit and bask in the silence. Silence was never uncomfortable with them. Any silence that existed always held undertones of relaxation, a warm comfort blanket. They’d seldom had an awkward moment, and this one was no exception. They watched as the sky brightened up, dark blue giving way to yellow as the sun began to rise. They barely ever got the chance to watch the sunrise together, but this was yet another everlasting memory that had arisen as a result of their intense bond.

Eventually Sasha broke the serenity that had fallen over them. “I still don’t quite know where I fit in though.”

“What d’ya mean love?” Becky quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

“I mean I still don’t have a direction I want to go in,” the younger woman explained, eyes shining with vulnerability in the early morning light. “Even when I do get this degree in Business Management, there’s still nothing I want to do that it could directly lead to.”

Charlotte broke the tender hold she had on Sasha’s head, gently pulling Sasha’s head up by her chin to look deep into her eyes. “I promise honey, we’ll figure it out. Together.” Charlotte curved her lips into a warm motherly smile, until Sasha’s body betrayed her and smiled back in earnest. The taller blonde pulled the dark-haired dynamo into a warmth-radiating hug, one that made Sasha feel like she belonged. Bayley and Becky wasted no time in joining onto the embrace.

The four stayed there for minutes, all content to remain, momentarily forgetting about the problems in their lives. To them, this was as close as they could get to perfection. Knowing that they were cared for, and cared back in return. None of them had felt as though they could feel so complete with another human being until they’d met. Now they were lucky enough to fit together as a four-woman puzzle. And honestly? They’d never felt as happy together as they had right now, watching the sun come up as they revelled in the promise of a future alongside each other.

* * *

“What about working for a dog rescue shelter?”

It was the following day from Sasha’s reckless escapade, and her friends had wasted no time in trying to help their friend find a career path that might interest her.

“As much as I’d love that Bay, it would hardly bring the money in.” Sasha made sure to flash a grateful smile at Bayley. One that she hoped communicated just how much she appreciated the helpful suggestion without having to put it into words. “Besides, I can’t risk Ryu being upstaged as the cutest dog in the world.”

She flashed a grin at this, but the grin had a hint of melancholy and longing to it. Sasha missed her dog dearly; the landlord would not permit them to house any pets. Unfortunately, that meant that Sasha could not bring her beloved Corgi with her and so Ryu had to remain back in Boston with her mother and brother. Though she flew back for holidays and saw plenty of him through facetime calls, her heart longed to have him around permanently after college.

“I’d hope Flex isn’t far behind!” Bayley pouted.

Sasha couldn’t help but laugh heartily at her friend’s antics. “Of course he is! Wouldn’t be a good aunt if I forgot my favourite nephew.”

“Damn right, don’t you forget it!” Bayley stuck her tongue out to further add to the absurdity, something that never failed to make Sasha laugh. Realisation suddenly crept across her features. “Hey, after we graduate, we can finally have our dogs live with us!”

Sasha chuckled bitterly. “Yeah, but I’ll need money coming in to be able to pay for Ryu. Working for a dog shelter ain’t gonna cut it.” Seconds passed before the implication of Bayley’s words caught up to Sasha, causing her to furrow her brow. “Wait, are we even going to live together after college?”

A slightly puzzled look crossed Bayley’s features. “Well yeah. Why, you’re not sick of living with us, are you?”

Sasha shook her head. “Of course not. I just didn’t know if…” She trailed off, not feeling up to voicing her concern.

Bayley sighed at this. It wasn’t a sigh of disappointment in Sasha, or in judgement. But a sigh of hurt at the reminder of how much her friend was still affected by her insecurities. She turned in her seat to grasp Sasha’s hand before looking up into her sad brown eyes. “Trust me Sash, I’d feel lost without you.”

“It’s too early to be going all mushy on me, dude,” Sasha grimaced with a mischievous grin, eyes sparking into life. But Bayley knew. She always knew. Though her bravado caused her to mask her true feelings most of the time in ordinary circumstances, Sasha had needed the reassurance.

* * *

“How’re ya holdin’ up lass?”

Charlotte turned to face the Irishwoman, whose brown eyes sparkled with pure concern. Not just her eyes, but her lips and eyebrows were tilted into a slight frown.

“What do you mean Becky? What have I got to be upset about?” Charlotte asked huskily in surprise, tilting her head slightly in an expression of confusion at the redhead’s question.

“Come on Charlie, don’t gimme that bullshit,” Becky warned, the firm tone causing Charlotte’s tense shoulders to uncoil slightly at the protective concern. “You’ve been this beacon of strength fer the rest of us lately. But even beacons need tendin’ to.”

Charlotte bit her lip and hardened her eyes in an attempt to stifle the emotion threatening to break free. Emotion that she’d been holding in all week ever since Sasha’s walk.

“It’s not exactly fair to ask us to open up if yer not doin’ the same,” Becky continued, determination set in her features to force the mother figure of the group to allow herself to be taken care of. Charlotte was always there to catch the rest of them when they fell. Now it was time for her to be extended that same courtesy. “I know you. I know this isn’t easy, and it’s eatin’ you up inside.” The redhead took a step further, looking up in a silent persuasion for Charlotte to meet her gaze. The blonde eventually relented, baby blues tentatively finding brown pools. “Now tell me. Tell me how yer really feelin’.”

Charlotte opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out before she promptly snapped it shut. She found that she honestly didn’t know how she felt. Or more to the point, she was feeling too much all at once, that she didn’t know where to begin. A cocktail of feelings all poured into one glass, mixed together until they all blended into one, without any clear distinctions.

Finally having the chance to stop and think about how she felt was enough to begin to overwhelm her senses. Charlotte clamped her eyes shut before any weakness could pour through the cracks in her armour. She shook her head to clear it away before opening her eyes to find Becky patiently awaiting her verbal response, concern shining through her eyes as she watched Charlotte like a hawk.

“I don’t know Becks,” Charlotte finally croaked, in a quiet but raspy voice.

“Well then maybe you can make sense of it by confiding in me, ya blonde boulder,” Becky sported a grin, hoping it would be enough to persuade the taller woman to lift some of the weight from her aforementioned boulder shoulders. “Yer body might look like it’s sculpted from granite-“ Charlotte gave a hearty chuckle at the unexpected quip, causing Becky to pause and smile as she waited for the laughter to subside. “But I know you’re not an emotionless piece of rock.”

“I guess I feel…” Charlotte searched, trying to think long and hard enough to discern a clear emotion from the jumbled mess inside her head. “…tired?” Charlotte cocked her head at the word sounding more like a question. Not a question to Becky though; it was a question to herself. “Things have been so crazy with Sasha lately. I just want things to go back to the way they were. When we seemed carefree, like nothing could stop us.”

Charlotte took a breath to steady her heart, which had begun to pick up pace. The effort did little to calm it, so she tried a different tactic to calm herself. She gazed at Becky. “But that’s not going to happen, is it?” The Irishwoman’s heart seized up at the vulnerability present in Charlotte’s shining green eyes. It wasn’t a normal look; usually the stoic blonde was too busy being a tower of strength for the other three to look so uncertain about the future. Now she thought about it, the only one among them who was comfortable to show vulnerability instead of hiding it was Bayley. But right here, right now, Becky knew she’d made the right decision to push Charlotte to open up. Her best friend was clearly in dire need of reassurance.

Becky chewed on the inside of her cheek deep in thought and cleared her throat before answering. “In time…yes. Things are probably still going to be crazy for some time.” She paused to flash a smile of assurance at Charlotte. “But I have complete confidence that it’ll sort itself out eventually. We might be waiting a while, but it’ll all work out in the end.” Becky blinked as her smile grew longer and curved further upwards. “I promise.”

“Pinky promise?” Charlotte allowed a smile to grace her face as she extended her pinky finger.

“Pinky promise,” Becky affirmed as she linked their pinkies together, grinning in mirth as she did so.

The two women gazed into each other’s eyes, losing themselves in the deep pools within. They say the eyes are the window to a soul. From Becky’s perspective in this moment, Charlotte’s shined with pure innocence; a worried girl wishing for a better tomorrow. A stark contrast to the normally confident and proud woman usually taking care of them.

* * *

“Have you thought about becoming a personal trainer?”

All four of them were sat on their couch, watching _Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle_ while they ate ice cream. All healthier flavours than standard ice cream choices, of course. Charlotte wouldn’t have suggested the new career path if Sasha didn’t already rigorously keep herself in shape.

“I don’t think so, I’m not really the teaching type.”

“Yeah, but you know what you’re doin’,” Becky chimed in, “I mean, just look at your stomach. It’s _abs-olutetly_ terrific!” Becky began to laugh mid-chew, opening her mouth to expose the gross image of melted ice cream mixed with saliva.

“Ew!” Sasha grimaced in disgust at the sight while Bayley snorted at the pun. “Stop being so _disgoostin’_ ,” Sasha said in mockery of Becky’s Irish accent.

“Besides,” Charlotte spoke to Sasha in a raised voice to stop Becky’s incoming protest, “you know you love making a difference in the world. This is one way you can do that.”

“I think we all know Bayley is the real role model,” Sasha gestured with her spoon to the brunette. It was well known by this point how adept Bayley was at helping others out, a skill that Sasha simply hadn’t the patience for on a full-time basis. “I’m not in the right place to be telling people how to live their life. I’m still trying to figure myself out.”

“That’s never stopped you from trying to boss us around,” Bayley teased, with Sasha shooting her a glare in mock anger.

“That’s because I’m the boss,” Sasha retorted smugly.

“Can we focus here?” Charlotte interrupted the exchange, not wanting to waste any time in what had been a serious discussion. Though she wouldn’t admit how happy it made her to see Sasha returning back to her boisterous self. “You could always go for working on reception and learn before working your way up,” Charlotte suggested.

“No, I don’t think personal trainer is where I wanna be right now. Maybe some day?” Sasha cocked her head to one side with a questioning glint in her eyes. “But not anytime soon.”

“What about taking up dance fighting?” Becky asked absentmindedly while her vision remained transfixed on the TV at the movie scene currently taking place: the tall redhead character of Ruby Roundhouse fighting off the antagonists while music played on a portable stereo.

Sasha scoffed while Bayley again failed to stifle a snort. “That’s not a real thing Becky, you Ruby Roundhouse wannabe.”

“Shut up, sure it is!” Becky tore her eyes from the screen momentarily to engage in the debate with all the gusto she always commanded. “It’s called capoeira, ya dope.”

“Admit it, you just think Karen Gillan is hot,” Sasha sniped, bringing the conversation back to the catalyst of Becky’s suggestion.

“Well of course she is! You’ve got eyes, don’t’cha? Plus we both share amazing taste in hair,” Becky smirked as she twirled a strand of orange hair around her finger.

“Yeah, but at least hers is natural,” Bayley snickered as Becky pouted. “Yours just looks like it absorbed a bottle of Fanta.”

“’Ey, it’s not _that_ bright anymore!” the Irishwoman protested as her pout deepened. “You just can’t handle how _fanta-stic_ it looks.”

“Say another pun, and I’ll dump this bowl of ice cream over your head,” Sasha warned, raising her bowl as a deterrent.

Becky gasped in mock offense to play along, before a devilish smirk crossed her features. “Ok Barney,” came the facetious response, likening Sasha’s previous hair colour to the purple dinosaur.

“Try again when your references are a bit more up to date,” Sasha shot back, pulling her now black hair to be more on show to emphasise her point.

Unbeknownst to the other three, who were too lost in the back and forth to pay attention to anyone other than each other, Charlotte sat back with a beaming smile on her face. Watching her best friends bicker incessantly without a care in the world gave her hope. Hope for the future. Hope for Becky’s promise made a week prior to come to pass. Hope that Sasha would be back to her normal self on a permanent basis, rather than these fleeting moments which she now lived for.

* * *

“Good morning Sash!” Bayley exclaimed exuberantly with a smile that was far too bright to a dishevelled Sasha as the smaller girl shuffled into the kitchen, her jet-black hair still a bit of a mess, though she had clearly worked to make it somewhat presentable. Clearly, she hadn’t fully woken up yet. Sasha still couldn’t work out how on earth Bayley was always so chipper so early in the day. Sasha needed a cup of coffee before she’d even consider greeting somebody with more than a grunt. Yet Bayley managed to have the same enthusiasm she was displaying now the moment her feet touched the ground.

However seeing as it was Bayley, Sasha forced herself to manage a subdued “hey”. She could never even contemplate being rude to the hugging taller girl, even if she didn’t understand how anybody could be a morning person.

Sasha took the offered coffee mug with the best grateful half-smile she could muster, a quiet “thanks” passing her lips. Thankfully it had been made long enough ago to be drinkable without scalding her tongue, but not too long that it had turned cold. All these years since she’d met her, Sasha was still amazed by the brunette’s ability to make her coffee exactly the way she liked it without fail. Besides herself, Bayley was the best non-barista she’d ever met when it came to coffee.

Bayley waited patiently for Sasha to reopen her eyes after her first few sips, to see them looking far more alert than when she’d ventured into the kitchen. She’d learnt the hard way at the beginning of their friendship to pick her moment before trying to engage Sasha in conversation so early in the day.

“How are you feeling?” Bayley asked as she sat on a stool opposite Sasha, placing her own steaming mug onto the counter.

“I’m okay, I guess,” Sasha answered truthfully. It had been almost three weeks since she had walked out in the early hours of the morning. Since that relapse, she’d been regaining a semblance of her old self, piece by piece. These days, she tended to feel decent, if still lost in direction for her future. The other three had kept her going, kept filling her with hope that she’d find something eventually. They say if you repeat something to someone enough times, they’ll start to believe it. Sasha didn’t know if she believed it wholeheartedly, but she didn’t outright dismiss it anymore either. At least she was narrowing it down by dismissing every suggestion they’d come up with so far.

“How are you feeling?” Sasha bounced the question right back.

Bayley was taken aback and held herself back from gaping her mouth wide open in shock. Even before her depression, Sasha never usually asked the question back, citing a long-standing dislike for asking a question purely out of obligation. However since Sasha’s mental breakdown, it was rare for her to be the one to initiate small talk. No scratch that. Not rare. Unheard of.

Honestly, Bayley wasn’t sure how to answer, chewing softly on the inside of her bottom lip as she mulled it over. On one hand, she was not okay. But on the other, it was all because of the woman asking about her wellbeing. Not only was the girl with an affinity for hugging not a fan of confrontation, but she knew Sasha was still in a fairly delicate place. Even when she was mentally healthy, she still didn’t take everything the right way. Nowadays her mood tended to be as unstable as a powder keg. But Sasha was one of her best friends. She could never lie to her, consequences be damned.

“I’m scared, Sash,” Bayley eventually managed.

“Of what?” Sasha asked, a befuddled frown creasing her face. Of all the answers she’d expected, this wasn’t one of them. Nothing ever seemed to get her huggable friend down, let alone appear crippled by fear.

“You.” That one word sent chills down Sasha’s spine.

“Me?” the confusion only ran deeper, like a sinkhole suddenly appearing without warning.

“Well not you, but of what could happen to you.”

“Bay, you’re starting to scare me.” Sasha gripped the handle of her mug tighter. If she weren’t so laser-focused on Bayley right now, she’d be starting to grow concerned that her grip was growing tight enough to smash the mug into pieces. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Things are starting to get better day by day, but I’m still so fucking worried about you Sash.” Something that was even rarer than Sasha asking her she was feeling, was hearing Bayley utter profanity. That tended to be a good signifier of how serious she was. It was now that Sasha noticed that Bayley was shaking.

“Bay, I’ve told you before, you don’t need to worry about me,” Sasha’s eyes began to water, growing more upset by the second at her friend’s behaviour.

“That doesn’t stop me from worrying about you every single day,” Bayley’s voice began to strain with emotion. “I lay awake at night terrified that I might wake up and you won’t be here. That you’ll have done something rash. I still have nightmares about that time you walked out alone in the dead of night without a word, only without being lucky enough to stay safe.”

Bayley stared at Sasha’s unreadable expression, the smaller woman secretly starting to struggle to hold in the explosion of emotion that threatened to erupt. “You’re my best friend Sasha.” Tears began to spill forth profusely from Bayley’s eyes, unable to stop. Not that she cared to stop them in any case. “I couldn’t bear to lose you.” The moment she finished speaking, she began to sob uncontrollably, even the very idea momentarily breaking her spirit.

She began to reach for Sasha, only for Sasha to snatch her hand out of reach. A horrible grating sound was heard as Sasha stood, roughly scraping her stool backwards against the wooden floor. As Bayley craned her head up to look into Sasha’s eyes, she found them simmering with anger, eyebrows narrowed into a look of pure hatred, lips curled downwards in disgust. Bayley had never seen the look on her friend’s face directed at her before.

Bayley couldn’t manage to pull herself together enough to get a single word out before Sasha stormed out of the room. Her friend’s unexpected departure felt like a punch to the gut, and Bayley’s sobs doubled in intensity.

* * *

It took over twenty minutes for Bayley to pull herself together enough to leave the kitchen in search of Sasha. Was she trying to find the clearly enraged girl to apologise to her for causing her upset? An explanation for her visceral reaction? To understand why she had directed such a hateful look towards one of the three people who always had her back? Bayley truly did not know. All that she knew was that it was imperative she find her, one way or another.

Bayley didn’t need to look far to find her friend. After quickly scanning the living room, Bayley went straight to the first place she’d expect to find Sasha. Her worries about Sasha having done another runner evaporated the instant she slowly creaked the door to Sasha’s bedroom open, finding the woman sat on her bed facing the window. Her back was hunched away from the door, and, currently unbeknownst to her, from Bayley. With how quietly Bayley had tentatively entered, it appeared that Sasha was not yet aware of her presence.

“Sasha?” Bayley called out in a quiet voice, sounding as though the normally confident girl was unsure of herself.

Sasha’s shoulders relaxed upon hearing Bayley’s voice. Yet she did not turn around, or make any kind of verbal response. Bayley waited with bated breath, unsure if Sasha would even talk to her, let alone openly acknowledge her presence.

She was about to turn around and walk away, assuming Sasha did not want to talk to her, when she was stopped by the soft sound of Sasha patting the spot next to her on the bed. A ray of hope shone through Bayley like the rays of the Sun creeping in through the window. She understood her best friend enough to know that in tense situations, Sasha’s words turned volatile with effortless ease. A non-verbal invitation was Sasha’s way of keeping the peace and avoiding blowing up into a screaming match from the get-go.

Still unsure of where their friendship stood at this point in time, Bayley timidly traipsed across the room, as though walking on eggshells. Slowly sinking down to take a seat beside Sasha, Bayley turned to look at her face. Though it was partially obscured behind a curtain of black hair, she found it just as impassive as it had shortly before the smaller woman had stormed out. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Bayley opened her mouth to speak, only to feel a weight land on top of the hands in her lap. Looking downwards, Bayley recognised the soft mocha skin of her friend’s hand placed atop her own. Trailing her eyes upwards to meet Sasha’s, the look directed at her commanded her to stop, to not speak in this moment. The look was punctuated by a harsh headshake.

Closing her mouth, Bayley waited patiently for Sasha to begin talking. The uncertainty causing her anxiety to continue to climb as the two sat in silence for a good minute or so. Though to Bayley, it felt more like an eternity.

“I never realised…” Sasha finally croaked out in a voice that although was not quiet in volume, sounded impossibly small in feeling.

“Realised what?” Bayley asked slowly, in a tone that made clear that she was proceeding with caution.

“How much I’d hurt you.” Each of those mere five words overflowed with devastation, her tone heartbroken.

“Sasha, it’s okay-“ Bayley began, trying to reassure the suddenly emotional girl before Sasha jumped to her feet without warning.

“NO! It’s not okay!” Sasha shouted before progressively lowering her volume with each consecutive word, as though trying to calm herself down while she spoke. The puzzling younger woman began to pace back and forth along the length of her bed, eyes fixed to the floor.

Bayley could only watch, giving her friend time to work out whatever she was going to follow up with. Each second of verbal silence stretched to feel impossibly long, the only sound being the frantic footfalls. Eventually, Sasha stopped, meeting Bayley’s gaze.

“When I walked out that night, I didn’t even give a moment’s thought about how badly you would all worry. I was only thinking about myself, as usual.”

“Sasha-“

“And now…now you tell me that what I did gave you nightmares.” Sasha began to pace again, stopping several seconds later, eyes blazing with fury. “Why aren’t you angry?!” Sasha spat out, anger steadily manifesting until it reached full force. “I’ve been a shitty friend, and you deserve to be pissed at me! You always do this, you always find some way to take the blame off my shoulders! Well don’t!” the diminutive girl continued to rage, her tone rising higher and higher until she was almost screaming into Bayley’s face.

Bayley could tell that the bite in Sasha’s voice wasn’t directed at her, but towards herself. Like a wounded animal snarling to frighten any other living creatures away. But Bayley knew her best friend too well to fall into her trap. Instead of rising to the bait that Sasha was trying to throw her way in self-sabotage, the Latina maintained eye contact, staying silent as she waited for her furious friend to run out of steam.

Having received no response, Sasha eventually deflated, the fire burning out in her eyes, her scowl transitioning to a frown, eyebrows returning to more straightened position. She hung her head before whispering, “I don’t deserve a friend like you.” Her cracked voice sounded so small and defeated that it took all Bayley had to not immediately wrap her up in one of her magical hugs. Instead Bayley reached up to latch onto Sasha’s hands, gently pulling her back down to sit beside her, knowing that there would be time for hugs later. Right now, they needed to talk.

“So _this_ is why you stormed off with such a hateful look on your face. You weren’t mad at me; you were mad at yourself.” Eventually Sasha looked up to see a warm look of understanding etched across Bayley’s features.

“Well of course I was mad at myself!” Sasha began to raise her voice again, though not to anywhere near the level she had moments earlier. “I was such a selfish ass! I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn’t consider that I was making your life a living hell.” Sasha’s brown orbs glistened with tears, her chest beginning to wrack with sobs that grew in intensity and volume with each passing second. Bayley couldn’t take it anymore, pulling Sasha to cradle against her chest, one arm firmly wrapped around her shoulder, with the other hand resting against the side of Sasha’s head.

“Sasha, you do exaggerate,” Bayley chuckled. Though Sasha’s eyes were not directed upwards as she continued to softly weep into the air away from them, Bayley couldn’t help having a big grin on her face. Though Sasha liked to act like a hardened bitch, moments like this showed how big of a softie Sasha Banks could be to those she truly cared for.

“Do you know why I get so worried about you?” Bayley asked rhetorically, only giving a momentary pause. “Because I care about you, and I never want to see you get hurt.” Bayley gently gripped Sasha’s chin, tilting the tear-stricken face of her best friend upwards to gaze into her eyes. “Even if it’s you hurting yourself. So no more beating yourself up, alright?” Bayley’s grin stretched impossibly wider, inviting the seemingly inconsolable woman to brighten her spirits at the implied forgiveness that went unsaid. The effects were made apparent almost immediately, as the smaller girl’s sobs began to subside, a small smile gradually tugging at the corners of Sasha’s lips. Her eyes still glistened, though no fresh tears fell.

Unwilling to open her mouth, Sasha nodded a little more eagerly than she normally would, leftover moisture spilling down, her emotions taking over.

“Let me make this clear,” Bayley started, ensuring that she held Sasha’s undivided attention, choosing her words with the utmost care and precision, “it doesn’t matter how much you upset us or cause us to worry, I could _never_ blame you for anything while you’re going through this.” Long after Bayley had finished speaking, Sasha continued to gaze into Bayley’s eyes, drinking in the pure love shining from within. Bayley was looking at Sasha like she was the most precious entity in the whole world. And in this moment, with the pure affection reflected back at her, Sasha would be hard-pressed to not feel the exact same way in return.

Moments like these reminded Sasha of just how much she’d lucked out in life by finding such benevolent and compassionate spirits in her three best friends. Three people who understood her completely in a world where she was consistently misunderstood. Three people who loved her unconditionally, no matter what poor decisions she had already made, and those she’d yet to make. Three people who meant the world to her, and who had all made clear that their lives wouldn’t be complete without her in them.

Sasha was swiftly brought out of her contemplation by the feeling of Bayley scraping her knuckles against her scalp.

“Bay, stop,” Sasha whined with a pout, elongating the middle portion of the second word.

Bayley didn’t respond verbally. She complied, breaking away from Sasha. A devilish smirk then crossed her lips as she hurriedly rubbed her fingers throughout Sasha’s hair, thoroughly messing it up to the point of Sasha looking like a lion with a black mane. Her features resembled an angry lioness too.

Sasha swiped at Bayley, only for the taller woman to leap out of harm’s way, darting towards the door.

“Bay, get back here!” Sasha snarled in artificial aggression, trying and failing to hold back a grin, though there was minor annoyance involved in the fact that she’d have to redo her hair.

“Come catch me!” Bayley taunted as she took off out of Sasha’s room.

Sasha scrambled off her bed to give chase, hearing Bayley cackling down the hallway. Sasha found it impossible to fight against the giggle that escaped her mouth, the Latina’s infectious charm proving too much for any dark mood to bear.

The shorter woman sped past the bemused and unkempt pair of Charlotte and Becky, newly emerged to see what the noise was about. They exchanged amused glances as they watched Bayley and Sasha play wrestle on the couch. All felt right with the world in that moment with the childish glee in front of their eyes.

* * *

“I think I’ve got it!” Becky exclaimed excitedly.

It was three weeks since Sasha had taken her late night/early morning sabbatical, and still no suggestion of a future career prospect had clicked in Sasha’s mind. They’d gone through a whole litany of suggestions. Nurse, lawyer, journalist, therapist, singer, mixed martial artist, football/soccer player (the semantics thoroughly argued by Becky against the other three), barista, artist, the list went on and on. Every occupation under the sun, it seemed. Yet still nothing appealed to her soul. Sasha did nothing to prevent the eye-roll that automatically accompanied the onslaught of another one of Becky’s crazy suggestions.

“Yeah, what was it last time?” Sasha tapped her chin, pretending to be genuinely thinking. “Oh that’s right, a clown!” she raised her voice harshly towards Becky with a bite to her tone, reminding her of how well that suggestion had gone down.

“’Ey, I wouldn’t mind going to clown college,” Becky tried to reason, pouting as though she was offended at Sasha shooting down what she felt to be a reasonable suggestion.

“Yeah, that’s because you already are the biggest clown there is,” Sasha shot back with a spiteful smirk on her face. “But maybe you could go there and learn to be a mime. I’d certainly appreciate the peace and quiet.”

“Yer just jealous you’ve got a boring hair colour again.”

“At least I can’t be mistaken for a walking traffic cone.”

“Stop it you two,” Charlotte exclaimed exasperatedly as she walked into the room with a sigh.

“Jus’ because-“ Becky started to fire back again at Sasha before the growl and harsh glare from Charlotte shut her down. “Alright, alright. What I was going to say, is how about working in a museum?”

After years of friendship with Becky, Sasha still continued to be surprised. Almost all of Becky’s suggestions so far had been ludicrous, bordering on the insane. Yet this was the type of sensible suggestion she’d expect from either Charlotte or Bayley. Not Becky. As much as Becky and Sasha enjoyed sniping at each other, she loved how unpredictable her fiery haired Irish friend could be, always keeping her on her toes. Just when she expected levity, Becky would surprise her with a moment of earnestness.

“That’s not actually a bad suggestion,” Charlotte admitted, surprise coating her tone.

“Don’t sound too shocked,” Becky levelled her with a hurt pout, as though she’d injured her pride.

“How can I not be? After all, you’re the same person who suggested ‘professional can opener’.” Charlotte made sure to shoot a judgemental eye roll Becky’s way.

“Tins are hard! It should be a thing!” Becky protested, arguing her case with just as much passion as she would argue something that genuinely mattered.

“And don’t even get me started on ‘Becky’s personal lap dancer’,” Charlotte wagged her finger disapprovingly.

“Oh c’mon, we all know I was shit-faced when I said that!” A red blush began to flush over Becky’s cheeks in embarrassment at the hazy memory.

“It’s not like your sober suggestions have been much better,” Charlotte fired back, a grin on her face at how easily she was able to rile up the other woman.

It hadn’t escaped either woman’s attention that Sasha had remained silent throughout this exchange, the thick silence becoming apparent as the light-hearted arguing faded away. Becky turned to face Sasha. “So what do you think, Sasha?”

“I don’t know…” Sasha trailed off absentmindedly, still busy thinking it through, though her tone was coated with uncertainty. Something that caused Becky’s features to fall, having had full confidence that she’d found something to help guide her Sasha to emerge from the darkness that had permeated her for the past two months. Becky didn’t make a habit of admitting her honest feelings, but her heart had never stopped aching for her best friend’s happiness.

“C’mon, you love being surrounded by things you’re passionate about,” Becky tried to hide her dejectedness behind a mask of enthusiasm. “What if you could be surrounded by them every day? We could find you an anime museum, or one dedicated to k-pop, or-”the Irishwoman continued to enthuse with all the zeal of a child on a sugar rush, fearing that if she stopped trying to plead her case, it would become obvious how disappointed she was in herself for offering such a fruitless suggestion.

“Becky, if she doesn’t want to, we don’t need to push her,” Charlotte placed a firm but supportive hand on top of Becky’s. The reassuring look in the tall mother figure’s eyes was one that instantly soothed Becky’s nerves, the warm look communicating how proud she was of Becky just for trying.

“I know Becks,” Sasha spoke up, a subtle shakiness to her tone catching the other two off-guard. “That was actually one of the suggestions that came closest.” Sasha shook her head, causing a few stray strands of black hair to cascade down her face. “But it’s still not something I would want to do for the rest of my life.” She paused for a few seconds before barely managing to squeak out a quiet but truly remorseful sounding “I’m sorry.”

“What for, luv?” Becky asked, her tone not able to contain any more surprise if she tried. Becky kept her vision fixed at the top of Sasha’s head; the woman no longer able to meet their gaze. Charlotte was just as perplexed by their friend’s sudden behaviour. She’d not done anything wrong. So why was she apologising?

When Sasha finally looked back up to speak, the shakiness was not so subtle anymore. “You guys keep on taking time out of your day to think of things that could help me, and I’ve shot every single one of them down. I just feel like I’m being a burden.”

No sooner had the words left Sasha’s mouth than Charlotte crossed the space between them with lightning speed, her long legs only needing a couple of strides. She sat beside Sasha on the couch and flung a comforting arm around her shoulders. “Sasha, look at me,” Charlotte waited patiently for Sasha to collect herself before complying. “You are _not_ a burden.”

“We jus’ want ta help you lass,” Becky agreed, staying put on the couch opposite Sasha, but sending a sparkling look of warmth and love her way. “No matter what it takes.”

“It doesn’t matter how many suggestions you shoot down, we will never stop helping you,” Charlotte continued to reaffirm to Sasha, whose look of gratitude gradually grew. “Eventually we’ll land on something that’s right for you.”

* * *

It was a Tuesday afternoon, five weeks since Sasha’s relapse. Bayley watched as the gaggle of students filtered into the lecture theatre, scanning the crowd for her three best friends. She eventually clamped eyes on Charlotte, with Becky in tow. It was difficult to miss Charlotte, her height and regal posture always helped her to stand out. Bayley also couldn’t miss the fact that Becky was walking with a slight limp.

“Becky, what’s the matter with your leg?” Bayley enquired with concern etched across her features.

“She stubbed her toe on the way here,” Charlotte answered for the pouting Irishwoman, who promptly snapped her opening mouth shut as the explanation was taken out of her mouth. Charlotte flashed an exasperated frown at Bayley with a sigh. “She blames me.”

“It’s yer fault for draggin’ me along without lookin’ where you were goin’, ya clumsy skyscraper!” Becky argued with a scowl.

“Calm down Tigger!” Charlotte smirked as Becky glared back at the mocking term. “A little pain isn’t going to kill you.”

“You know for someone who mothers us all the time, ya can be such a callous bitch sometimes Charlotte.”

Charlotte levelled Becky with an angry glare at the insult before Bayley interrupted the bickering, having noticed someone missing. “Stop arguing! Where’s Sasha?”

Any semblance of light-hearted squabbling instantly faded, replacing by growing looks of panic as they confirmed Bayley’s suspicions. Despite how easily Sasha meshed with any crowd now with her black hair, she was nowhere to be seen.

The three were now on edge, deeply concerned, worry lines furrowed across each of their brows. Since that day in which Sasha had failed to show up for their lecture and they’d found her in the midst of a mental breakdown, Sasha had made a point of attending as many of her classes as she felt comfortable. Any days in which she felt she was not in the right headspace to attend, she at least let her best friends know ahead of time. They each checked their phones, dismayed to see no such text. Something was wrong. And unlike last time, they wouldn’t wait until the end of the day to find out.

Becky, Charlotte and Bayley didn’t need to speak to each other. So in tune were they that they all immediately stood and made to leave, gathering their things, almost completely in sync with one another. They made their way down the steps, paying no heed to the lecturer beginning the class. The only thing that mattered in the whole world to them right now, was ensuring that Sasha Banks was safe.

* * *

For the three friends, the walk home couldn’t end quick enough. Their anxiety levels spiked so high into the sky, the only consolation being the lack of a ceiling over their heads to keep their nervousness boxed in; a recipe for combustion if ever they’d heard of one. They hurried as quickly as their legs could carry them. Becky didn’t even bother to snipe at Charlotte’s long strides, instead silently scrambling to keep up; a signifier of how dire they regarded the situation.

“Come on!” Becky urged restlessly as Bayley fumbled to put her key into the lock.

After what felt like an eternity waiting for a nervous Bayley to unlock the door, they eagerly clambered inside their home.

“Oh thank goodness-“ Charlotte sighed in relief as she spotted all of Sasha’s shoes tucked neatly into their shoe rack. She was interrupted by a soft shushing from Bayley. Charlotte followed the brunette’s finger as she pointed towards a mysterious figure sitting on the couch in the living room, their back towards the entrance. From this distance, they could see long blue hair flowing down the interloper’s shoulders. But who did they know with blue hair?

The three women slowly advanced towards the intruder, careful to make minimal noise so as to not alert the stranger. Thankfully, the squatter was currently watching the TV. _Their_ TV. Luckily for them, the television’s audio would cover any audible footsteps. The closer they got, the more they realised that the form was feminine. With Becky leading the ambling charge, she was the first to get a close look at the stranger’s back. She managed to get close enough to realise she’d recognise those slender caramel skinned shoulders anywhere. This was no trespasser!

“Sasha?” she called out uneasily, as though she was still uncertain that this was their depressed dynamo.

Fortunately, her suspicion was confirmed to be correct as Sasha’s face whirled round, vividly blue hair swishing around with the unexpected rapid movement. All three were greeted with a grin that grew to show off her pearly whites.

“Hey.” The one word sounded stronger and healthier than they’d heard Sasha sound in weeks. Soft, but with utter conviction, as though after all this time, she was sure of herself once again.

“Hey,” Charlotte said back lamely, her mind stuck playing catch up as it tried to process the change before her eyes.

“Sash, your, your, your-“ Bayley stuttered, unable to choose what to comment on first. Where had she been? Her new hair colour? The warmth returning to her voice?

“Your hair’s blue!” Becky offered with widened eyes, looking as though she’d been shown evidence that pigs could fly.

“I can always count on you to be observant, Becky,” Sasha scoffed in derision as she rolled her eyes dismissively.

“New blue hair, same true colours,” Becky fired back, crossing her arms with a pout. “Pixie.”

“Garfield,” Sasha shot back instantly, a devilish smirk on her face to combat Becky’s shocked expression, as though her lined up insult had caught the normally witty Irishwoman unawares. Knowing Becky so well, she’d fully expected her to quickly work through her encyclopaedia of terms and pop culture references to compare her new hair colour to, and had prepared her own retorts accordingly.

“Stop it you two!” Charlotte interrupted in an exasperated tone of voice resembling a mother tired of her children bickering. Charlotte Flair’s brain was running on overload, and this back and forth sniping was a roadblock to understanding what had taken place. A roadblock she wanted out of the way as swiftly as possible. After taking a moment to rub her temples in an attempt to sooth her racing mind, Charlotte rounded on Sasha. “Why aren’t you in class? Why is your hair blue? And why didn’t you tell us where you were?”

Sasha couldn’t help but chuckle at the running list of questions hurled her way. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Well you sure surprised us by how much we could worry about you, asshole,” Bayley half-laughed as she lightly punched Sasha’s shoulder before sitting beside her.

“Sorry,” Sasha laughed at her friend’s choice of language and attack, “I just wanted a surprise to make this moment special.”

“Moment? What moment?” Becky titled her head in confusion as her and Charlotte took their place on the couch beside the one Sasha and Bayley were currently sitting on.

Sasha paused the WWE Chronicle episode playing on TV, which they now realised was centred around Mickie James, before turning to face the other three.

“I’ve finally worked out what I want to do with my life.”

The awed silence that followed was so devoid of sound that you could hear a pin drop. Sasha noted the stunned expressions that had fallen on each of her friends’ faces, as though they were lost for words to describe how fantastical this situation was. A fact further communicated through the twinkle in the three pairs of eyes solely focused on her, as though she was the most important person in the world right now, the only one who deserved their attention. Sasha certainly didn’t miss the wide smiles curving their lips, too pure to ignore. She honestly didn’t know if they even realised how wide they were smiling. They were just too overtaken by joy to notice.

Realising that they were patiently waiting for her to elaborate, Sasha began to launch into an explanation. “Yesterday I was watching the WWE 24: Eddie Guerrero episode. Watching the library interviews of him explaining how much passion he had for what he did, and his peers sharing stories of how much he loved it…it made me realise how much I love pro wrestling.” The warmth in her tone was clear as day. When Sasha was passionate about something, her passion burned bright enough to block out the Sun. This was one such moment.

“It was always a nagging thought in the back of my head,” she continued, “but I prioritised getting an education above giving it a shot.” She gave a watery smile, as though it pained her to admit. “It was less of a risk, and a degree would give me stability. Stability I desperately needed after, well, you know what.” She trailed off, not wanting to repeat her difficult upbringing, having to constantly move around as a child, caring for her disabled brother, her mother barely making ends meet.

Sasha closed her eyes and gently shook her head, as though to clear it. When she next spoke, it was with such conviction that they’d never heard it so strongly before. “I want to be a professional wrestler.” The look on Sasha’s face following her confession was one they’d remember for the rest of their lives. Her smile was radiant and jubilant, as though she’d finally figured out the secret to life, but her eyes burned with a fierce determination that threatened to set the building ablaze. It rivalled the determination she originally held years prior when she discussed gaining her degree, back when they first got to know each other. No, this was a new Sasha Banks. One that had not only regained her happiness, determination and self-confidence, but seemed to surpass them.

“That same passion and desire that all my favourite wrestlers make clear in these glimpses behind the scenes and documentaries, I feel that. I know now in my heart: I was born to do this.”

Sasha glanced around, waiting for some kind of verbal reaction. She’d seen throughout her speech that each one of them had been drinking in her every word, digesting her declaration of where she planned to go next in life. She never worried about telling them, of course. In fact, she’d been an impatient ball of energy before they arrived. It had taken every ounce of restraint she had not to call them immediately to tell them the good news. She knew she would never be scorned or mocked for this particular career path. Not only did she have full confidence that her best friends would support her unquestionably in anything she chose, but they were all wrestling fans. No Royal Rumble or WrestleMania event was complete without a live viewing party between the four. In fact, Sasha privately wondered if any of the others might decide to follow her on this journey.

But the stretching silence unnerved her nonetheless, a gaping chasm that grew the longer she was denied verbal gratification. Fortunately, she didn’t have to wait too long, the time in her own head apparently slowing down time.

“That’s wonderful, honey!”

“Lass, that’s brilliant!”

“That’s fantastic, dude!”

The responses overlapped, each woman scrambling to show not only their approval, but their wholehearted support and enthusiasm.

“Don’t speak all at once,” Sasha said in jest, grinning from ear to ear at the joyous reception.

“Sorry lass, it’s just,” Becky started, before quickly realising that she was so overwhelmed that for once, she didn’t know exactly what to say right now. “Oh, c’mere!”

Becky and Sasha stood before moving to wrap each other in a warm embrace. As the two emotionally distant members of the group, it was a startling sight to see them voluntarily hugging of their own accord. In fact, neither Charlotte nor Bayley could remember it occurring before. The blonde and the brunette exchanged quizzical looks, eyebrows threatening to raise up into their hairlines in surprise, before standing and moving to wrap their arms around the pair, forming their increasingly familiar four woman embrace.

“We’re so proud of you, sweetheart,” Charlotte spoke softly into Sasha’s ear. The weight of those few words was immeasurable. To Sasha, those meant more than any other statement in the world. The words didn’t feel as though they were said automatically as though that’s what Charlotte thought she was supposed to say. She said them because she meant them. If Charlotte could see Sasha’s face now, she’d see tears beginning to glisten in those big brown eyes. But they weren’t sad tears. For the first time in months, Sasha Banks was crying happy tears.

“We couldn’t be happier for you, Sash.” Bayley’s words always sounded warm and supportive, but she’d never heard her sound so genuine, as though there wasn’t a truer statement in the world. Still crying her happy tears, Sasha instead opted to lovingly squeeze Bayley’s shoulder to show her gratitude.

The four women stayed in that position for some time, basking in the warmth and affection that was generated through holding each other. At the time Sasha met Bayley, Charlotte, and Becky, she’d never imagined that just a simple gesture from them could make her heart feel whole, as though a piece had been missing her entire life. Now found, slotting into place as though it had belonged there all along. Going along on her new journey wouldn’t have felt right unless she knew she had unequivocal support from the three people who meant more to her than she could ever possibly put into words. However, this didn’t stop an icy chill suddenly settling in her heart, stabbing into it like an icicle, as the thought occurred that perhaps she would need to move away from the people she loved to chase her dream.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Becky enquired thoughtfully as they pulled away and sat back down.

“I’ll look up some wrestling schools, and decide where I’ll go.”

The deliberate decision for Sasha to say “I”, as opposed to “we”, didn’t go unnoticed. It also didn’t escape Charlotte’s attention that there was a pang of regret in Sasha’s voice, as though there was a dark thought she was holding back. Charlotte had a good idea of what it was, and knew just how to silence it.

“Well you tell us when you’ve made a decision, and then we can make our plans.”

“What?” Sasha sounded dumbfounded, as though she truly couldn’t believe the question Charlotte had asked.

“Well, you’re going to need a gym to train at outside of wrestling trainin’,” Becky offered. If Sasha didn’t know better, she’d say they had it all planned out beforehand, rather than making a unanimous decision on the spot to directly support her. But she did know better. They didn’t even need to communicate to trust that they’d all want to follow Sasha, wherever her new journey took her. After all that had happened in the past couple of months, there was no way they’d risk splitting up.

“And we need to set up a business,” Bayley chirped in suggestively, as though it was purely a suggestion rather than a definitive plan, grinning from ear to ear.

“So it’s settled,” Charlotte said firmly but warmly, not willing to take no for an answer when it came to accompanying Sasha. “You pick a wrestling school, and we’ll all go in on finding a property nearby to turn into a gym after we graduate.”

“You guys…” Sasha trailed off, words escaping her to communicate her feelings, too overwhelmed and choked up to speak. She already held an immense level of love and respect for her friends, but never in a million years did she expect them to so readily follow her, without so much as a second thought. Charlotte leaned forward, her long reach just managing to wrap her fingers around Sasha’s, softly shushing her, understanding that words weren’t necessary. They all understood each other perfectly. They never needed words for that.

“Your dream is our dream. This way, not only can we support you, but you can work there to support yourself at the same time.” The unquestionable conviction in Charlotte’s tone and the twinkle in her baby blues made Sasha’s heart melt.

“And who knows?” Bayley spoke up, her wide grin still plastered on her face, showing no signs of dissipating. “Maybe we’ll even follow in your footsteps.”

“You...seriously?” Sasha didn’t think she could be any more surprised, but yet again, her best friends just kept on astonishing her.

“No matter what happens,” Becky interjected, “we’ll be right with you every step of the way. Whether that takes you back to Boston, all over America, all over the entire world, or to infinity and beyond-“ Her words got quicker and quicker the more excited she got, until she was interrupted by a hand on her shoulder.

“Alright calm down Becky,” Charlotte struggled to hold in her laughter at her friend’s ridiculous excitability, pulling her back to sit straight against the couch.

“One condition,” Sasha held a finger up. She revelled in the look of confusion on Charlotte’s face, not able to let this serious moment go without having a bit of fun.

“What?”

“We find someplace where we can bring Ryu.”

All three of the women burst into hearty chuckles, which quickly transformed into belly laughter, Sasha grinning along.

“Of course,” Charlotte wiped away the tears of laughter. “Can’t forget your little fur baby.”

“He’s not so little anymore,” Sasha contested, “my mom sent me photos to prove it.”

“I did no such thing,” Charlotte said in a mock serious tone, placing her hands on her hips at the claim.

Now it was Sasha’s turn to give a belly laugh, her new blue hair shaking in place as she threw her head back. An easy silence settled for a minute. This was no awkward or difficult silence, or one that felt out of place. This was a comfortable blanket, all four women just happy and content to revel in the moment.

“So Sash, you never did explain your new hair and skipping class,” Bayley reminded.

“I thought it was time for a change, and this morning was the only appointment they had available,” Sasha responded, a thoughtful look on her face. “It was time to step back out from the shadows, to let the world know that this is the new and improved Sasha Banks.”

“Like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon,” Becky suggested in a tone that showed how much she was trying to offer a helpful suggestion, rather than her usual light-hearted remarks. Not only that, but her tone was also one of wonderment, at Sasha’s profound statement.

Sasha nodded in agreement, clearing her throat before sharing one of her favourite quotes, one that she knew the others would recognise. “Although the butterfly and caterpillar are completely different, they are one and the same.” She shut her eyes for a brief moment with a growing smile on her face, taking in the moment and the depth of what was being said, before reopening them. “I’m back, and I’m all the better for having been away. I’d forgotten and lost who I was. But I managed to find myself again, and now I know who I am, and where I need to go. And I couldn’t have done it without your help.”

It had taken weeks of introspection, but Sasha Banks finally worked out what path she wanted to take in life. She endured a mental breakdown and a relapse, before finally managing to figure out the seemingly unsolvable problem in her life. Were it not for the support of her best friends, she may not have managed to cope. But with their unwavering support, encouragement, and love, she got there in the end. And she knew within her heart of hearts that no matter where this crazy life may take her, nothing would be able to break her again, as long as she had Becky Lynch, Charlotte Flair, and Bayley Martinez by her side.

Depression is a malevolent beast. It comes in various terrifying forms. From crippling anxiety, to frequent bouts of rage, to a solidified feeling of hopelessness. Nobody can even hope to conquer it alone. Once it takes hold of you, you need others to help lift you up out of the darkness, and even then, the rest of life can be a constant struggle to keep the monster at bay. Sasha Banks had found her shield against the darkness in her best friends. Now that they had helped her to tame the wild beast, it was up to her to ensure that it never rampaged free again. Her experiences served as proof that if you have the love and support of good people, anything is possible. It was a lesson she took with her right throughout the rest of her life, even up to the night she, Becky Lynch, Charlotte Flair, and Bayley Martinez got inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Just as they had been for decades, they were a four-woman unit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there we are! A week behind schedule, but I finished the story! I just really hope you guys found it to be a satisfying conclusion. I don't really know how to judge my own work, so please let me know what you thought in the comments below.
> 
> Like I've said from the very beginning, this is a very personal story to me. A mix between my own depression, Sasha's depression, and good old fiction. I felt this was an important story I simply had to tell. As the first multi-chapter story I've finished, I can only hope I managed to do it justice.
> 
> And I managed to get it done just before we closed out the decade! I hope everyone had a good Christmas, and I wish everyone a happy New Year! 
> 
> I want to thank every single person who took the time to read it, anybody who left a kudo, and especially anyone who left a comment. You guys are amazing, and I thank you for all the support you've given me while writing.
> 
> An extra special thank you has to go out to my 4HW Ao3 Discord support group. Without you guys giving me regular encouragement whenever I droned on about this story, sharing your love for this story, unwittingly pushing me to keep up with your regular doses of content on your stories, I might have struggled to see this one through. Relentlass, Sith, Goose, Nights, LiteratureLocker, you're all amazing! If anybody managed to miss their stories (I don't know if that's even possible), I heavily encourage you to go seek them out.
> 
> \- HunTAH


	6. Final Message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharing a final message for this story.

Hello all!

First off, I'm sorry to disappoint anyone in advance for the fact that this chapter isn't actually a continuation of this story.

And now, I'd just like to say a couple of things.

Firstly, I hope everybody is okay, coping, and staying safe in the current situation. It's a difficult time for us all, but we can all get through.

Secondly, I'd just like to thank everybody who ever gave this story a chance, left a kudo, or a comment. At the time I was working on this story, the warm reception absolutely blew me away! As a writer used to getting practically no feedback or hits, the weeks in which I uploaded this story was a very happy time, and always something I looked forward to. Now that I've given myself enough time to look at this story from a distance, I can honestly say that I am very proud of what I achieved. This was a genuine story based entirely on personal events, and I'm thrilled that it seemed to resonate with people. That genuinely meant the world to me, for people to engage so enthusiastically with what I'd written. Barring another mental breakdown, I don't think I'll ever write anything quite so genuine ever again. And that's okay. Because this one story provided enough for me to last a lifetime.

So thank you to everyone once again. And if this bump brought in any new readers, please don't be shy! It doesn't matter if this is an old story, I will always appreciate any comments or kudos people are willing to offer.

While this story may be over, I do write other ones. While I appreciate that most of my stories may not be to everybody's taste, I would very much appreciate anyone giving them a chance.

Thank you, and stay safe.

\- HunTAH

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is a very personal story to me, directly inspired by recent events in my own life (though obviously not a 100% accurate retelling). 
> 
> If you enjoyed this, then please please leave comments and kudos! Kudos are great, and comments are even better! As much as this story means to me, I would be absolutely thrilled to find that others enjoyed it as well. I especially need feedback to know what I'm doing right, and if I'm doing anything wrong to improve upon. So whether your feedback is good, bad, or indifferent, please let me know.
> 
> If anyone wants to follow me or get in touch, find me on Twitter @ahunter8056
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you'll keep on reading! :)
> 
> \- HunTAH


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